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How can i help my son who is 25 years old and he is in prison for the 4th time what can i do to help him?

 
baby751

Asked by baby751 at 3:57 PM on Apr. 15, 2009 in Adult Children (18+)

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Answers (15)
  • I have a son in prison. Unfortunately, I had a lot to do with seeing him put there because he raped his sister. I didn't want to....but she needed to know that I would protect her and be there for her and he was already grown and moved out of the home. I think that for myself at least, the best thing that I can do to help my son at this point is to allow him to learn from his mistake by paying for his crime and doing the classes and community service afterwards. For me and this situation doing anything to 'rescue' him would send the wrong message. Good luck Mama....I know this road too well and it hurts us Moms so much.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:14 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • Well my first question would be is he in there for the fourth time for the same offense? If so I dont think there is any help you can give if he has not learned his lesson by now!

    Sbahns

    Answer by Sbahns at 4:02 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • I have a 22 year old son who also has been in prison. He in is teen years been into drugs, gangs and obviously getting into trouble or he wouldn't have ended up in jail. My son finally turned his life around and is now doing awsome. He is now in college and has completely changed his group of freinds that he now hangs out with. It seems so good to see my son home on weekends and spending time with his family. The only thing my husband and I did was always be there for him, keep telling him we love him. But the most important thing I feel we did that really helped him was to let him do what he felt he needed to do even when we thought or even knew it was wrong. We had to let him fall but also stood by when he asked for help to get up. Good luck, my prayers are with you, your son and family.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:28 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • All for the same offenses? If so, then practice a good deal of "tough love"....either way, he needs to know that you're sick of his repeated offenses and if and when he gets out you will NOT be bailing him out, literally and figuretively!

    Luvngma

    Answer by Luvngma at 5:32 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • As a 4th time offender, I'd have to say there may be no help. You can't change his behavior obviously, as he is technically grown. Leave him there and let him serve his time. Sounds crappy, but he will not change unless HE wants to and there's no point in stressing yourself out to try to fix him.
    kbates1208

    Answer by kbates1208 at 6:08 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • There is a CM group for "Kids in Prison". Feel free to join for moral support on this issue
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:13 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • I think that the only thing you can do is to tell him that you love him unconditionally and offer to help him when he gets out. If you choose to help him then, you will have to lay down strict rules for your help, and you will have to be very firm in enforcing those rules. I don't know whether you are married or not, but I also think he needs a strong father figure who will tell him the truth about what it means to be a responsible man and who will encourage him that it is not too late for him to become such a man. I think that once a person has failed, it is much easier for that person to see himself as a failure. He needs to be reminded that he can always begin again and learn from his mistakes. He needs to be told that he can be successful in life, and that someone is willing to help him in that endeavor.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:40 AM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • Your son has to learn from his mistakes.Hopefully when he gets out of prison, he will not want to go back and sraighten out his life.You can't help him until he is ready to change his life for the better.
    evelynwest

    Answer by evelynwest at 3:04 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • You raising is done Mother.........Let Go and Let God..........find this poem online and read it over anad over
    tramar47

    Answer by tramar47 at 9:52 AM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • Continue to let him know that you LOVE him no matter what. There are consequences to our actions and pray that he sees the light and not want to keep going to prison. Speak the TRUTH in love to him, with some GRACE. Be encouraged.
    meb3

    Answer by meb3 at 10:28 AM on Apr. 17, 2009

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