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If someone is a recovered drug addict and got clean before they had their children (or even after for that amtter but they are CLEAN NOW) does that make them a bad mother?

just asking cuz someon said this to me!.. not reposting everything again if you really wanna know the whole scoop read my journal..

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JrsMommy07

Asked by JrsMommy07 at 4:10 PM on Apr. 15, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 10 (419 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • No. Bad parenting makes a person a bad parent.... and certainly being on drugs while you're parenting would qualify for the bad-parent badge.... but being in recovery does not. If you WERE on drugs while you were a parent... then you WERE not parenting to the best of your ability.... See what I'm getting at? I once was lost but now I'm found....? Don't take people's opinions as final judgment about anything. No one is the authority on your life but you.
    PaceMyself

    Answer by PaceMyself at 4:16 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • I don't think so, as long as you are truly committed to staying clean and doing whatever it takes to stay that way.
    Silvertears1275

    Answer by Silvertears1275 at 4:19 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • No. Everyone has made mistakes in the past. Whats important is that you set your priorities straight when you have your children and are clean. Like PaceMyself said...bad parenting makes you a bad parent!
    AdensMommy1107

    Answer by AdensMommy1107 at 4:20 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • Absolutely not, if so then I'm a bad parent. I'm sober over 10 years. I have a 5 yr old and 16 month old.
    There are some people out there (without a program) who don't think people can change. We can and we do. Maybe they have someone in their life on drugs/alcohol that hasn't changed, is still active. We are the blessed ones who find the better life sober.
    Take what you need and leave the rest - their negative comments. Be strong.

    chuggerboysmom

    Answer by chuggerboysmom at 4:24 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • no i dont think it makes them bad at least they arent like the ones that have that crap around their babies right ? i think people that do quit and stay clean are amazing ...
    Mrs.Owen86

    Answer by Mrs.Owen86 at 4:40 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • Nope... my Aunt was a big time drug addict and cleaned up sometime just before having kids. She has four boys who are all now teens and they are all great boys... and she's a good mom. I'm answering this annonymously for her sake though because there are ignorant people everywhere and she doesn't need me to point her out for them.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:00 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • no. if they leave that in their past and can move on with their lives that doesnt make them a bad mother at all. while being a mom, if they cant take it anymore and spend diaper money for heroin, yes they are a bad mom. I know lots of moms who have had drug problems, and were promiscuous strippers, but they turned their lives upside down when they had their first babies, even got married. I dont think they are bad moms based on their past
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:26 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • No not if she has cleaned herself up and has stayed the way and is ginuinly serious about staying clean. However if they keep repeating the same mistake over and over and over with out remorse then they need serious help and the children should be removed. Such was the case with our granddaughters and the  reason we are raising them. Our DIL was given chance after chance by the judge and she thought she could play the system until one day it bit her in the butt and the judge said enough!

    debj49

    Answer by debj49 at 5:41 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • What you did in your past and have not repeated does not dictate who you are today, now this does not mean to say that past choices and decisions can't come back to haunt you, but things like 'doing drugs' and such probably won't. In fact it may make you a better prepared parent than say me, a person that never encountered drugs, because you'll have an idea of what was bad for you and why you stopped, you'll have a story and real-life learning lesson to teach your children... I won't. I think the only instances I would think of that would probably be something of a persons past that would effect their future is if they were some pedophile, most other life instances won't have as large of an impact since one can wipe clean and start afresh w/o their past coming back at them.
    Knightquester

    Answer by Knightquester at 5:55 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • No, if anything it makes them a better mother for getting clean before bringing a child into the world.

    DeTora_Family

    Answer by DeTora_Family at 6:04 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

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