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How can you tell if you are being paranoid or you really have good reason not to trust him? (super long)

I have pretty much had trust issues with him since day 1. I have never had this problem with anyone else that I have dated. That right there tells me that there must be a reason I don't trust him. Little things will come up here and there that I feel are very shady, and when I call him on them he always has an answer. Example, we met on eharmony, and a few months after we had started dating I logged into his account, and he had been communicating with other girls. He swore up and down that he let his friend use his account just to bs with the girls. Then he closed the account. And sometimes I will get weird text messages that don't really say anything bad, but I can tell they were not meant for me. But ever since the whole eharmony thing I feel like I look at every little detail. And there is always the chance that its just coincidence or I'm being paranoid. How do I get myself to tell the difference?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:57 PM on Apr. 15, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • The only way its to just let it go... Then if there is a next time something fishy comes up, you can tell the difference cuz you won't be paranoid.
    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 6:01 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • You relationship doesnt have trust . And you cant be in a relationship without trust. Its like being in a relationship without Love.

    Talk to him about it, let him know how you feel, and where you stand on this. If your willing to stay with him, you have to be willing tot let it go . If you cant see yourself trusting him period, why be with him ya know?
    Let it go. If you can't let it go, there's really no point being with him. Ya know?

    aMbeR012005

    Answer by aMbeR012005 at 6:09 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • Well, just from the eHarmony thing....you should know that those profiles are made specifically for the person searching for a partner. And its not a "casual" dating site, its supposed to be a site for people to make real connections. So why would he let his friends "mess around" on there? Even if its the truth, its an ugly truth. And I would certainly trust your instincts. Especially if you aren't normally this distrusting.

    I say listen to your gut and re-evaluate what you have with this guy.
    ozarkgirl3

    Answer by ozarkgirl3 at 6:16 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • * distrusting vs distrustful?

    Hmm...don't know which is correct...oops if I'm wrong..LOL
    ozarkgirl3

    Answer by ozarkgirl3 at 6:17 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

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