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my ex left me for another woman. THey have been together for two years. My daughter has met her a few times. Anyways my daughter hates her and won't see her anymore. I suggested to my ex husband maybe if his girlfriend and her daughter would do something with her daughter and my daughter and I together, maybe our daughter would see a different side of my exes girlfriend. He said that would never happen. I don't want to be best friends, just civil. WHat is holding her back?

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Asked by Anonymous at 6:05 PM on Apr. 15, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • Think about this:
    Your ex must have told his new honey all kinds of things about you to justify his messing around on you. Of course she doesn't want to have you around...especially not as a "nice" lady in her own daughter's eyes.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:07 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • Jealousy. She is probably just a bitch. Which is sad for your Ex because she doesn't want to make a effort to get yall's daughter to like her.

    Answer by Kbmancine at 6:08 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • She probably doesn't want to get close to you, because she doesn't want you and ex to be close either... its a territory (sp) thing. Best thing to do is just let her try to make things right with your daughter on her own... and if she doesn't, her loss. GL

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 6:09 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • Maybe she is jealous of you and she thinks that if you socialize, he'll see what he is missing and come back to you. Maybe she is jealous of the attention he gives your daughter. There could be a whole range of reasons. Just always be the bigger person. If your daughter doesn't want to see her, then don't force the situation. You've tried to help, what more can you do?

    Answer by Rebecca7708 at 6:09 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • it's a kind gesture, but if he left you for someone else I can see why he wouldnt be interested. my ex bf ended up marrying a mutal friend. as awkward as it was, she and I were like "secret friends" but it didnt last long. they needed to move on with their lives. thankfully he and I have no children together

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:10 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • yes I didnt even think about the jealousy thing! that plays a huge part of the refusal!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:11 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • i agree that would be way akward
    and if your daughter doesnt like her- let it be
    kids have a sence about people she shouldnt have to see her

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 6:13 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • anon 4:10 it was easy for them to move on without you because you had no children. OP: I think it was a good idea to try and extend the olive branch but it does sound like this woman could be jealous. She probably knows deep down that if he could cheat on you he could just as easily do it to her and she doesn't want to take any chances.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:15 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • I would call her and ask her directly. Tell her you want to get along and that the kids need to see you get along. My hubbys 2nd ex wife and i did not get along and their daughter was getting stuck in the middle. It took us two years but she flew in to drop off the daughter for her summer visit and spent a few days at a local hotel, we went out to eat, she came over for dinner. And Vannah got to see us getting along and that we didn't hate eachother. She was afraid to like me because her BM was telling her all sorts of hateful lies about me.
    My hubbys first wife and I are good friends now. We became close when i first moved in and we lived together for three months when hubby went to Drill School. go to about it has the backstory to that. But anyways yes you need to make an effort, both of you do. Its only going to hurt your daughter if there is tension between you and her.

    Answer by Vanessannd at 6:16 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • It is awkward. I have to say, if it weren't for the kids involved, it wouldn't be necessary, But it is. Its all for your daughter. Maybe your ex doesn't feel comfortable with it. And maybe they have set boundaries they don't want to cross. If mean if it were me, i totally get where your coming from. I'd be open to it . # 1 because I'd make sure i feel secure in my relationship anyway. and #2 , daughter can benefit from it. (# 3 , we are all adults) Its really about how mature, AND where peoples' boundaries are. They're all different. We just have to respect them. Ya know?


    Answer by aMbeR012005 at 6:17 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

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