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Does anyone have suggestions on getting my 8 yr old to stop coming in my room at night?

I allowed her to do this after I lost my husband in 2004, so I know it is partially my fault but I was lonely in bed. However, it is time for it to stop.

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junebug1970

Asked by junebug1970 at 6:35 PM on Apr. 15, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (8)
  • um lock the door!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:37 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • why is it time to stop? you lost your husband. She lost her daddy and being a child can't 'mourn rationally' like an adult.
    Sounds like she's not ready yet. You may not be lonely in bed anymore, but she is loney and needs your comfort still.
    Has she had counselling?
    Kiter

    Answer by Kiter at 6:43 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • Oh, I'm sorry...

    So this has been every night since your daughter was three? It is a habit, but one that can be broken. The trick is to make your daughter think it's her idea to leave your bed.

    I'm wondering if her friends know she needs to sleep with her mommy...catch what I'm getting at? If you use peer pressure on her, maybe she will tell you she is too big to sleep with her mommy and wants to sleep in her own bed.

    Maybe try having some sleep-overs with her girlfriends. Have them all bunk in YOUR room. They will want to know why, since most sleepovers are in the girl's room...you can just say for your daughter to answer them.

    Maybe talk with the mom of one of your daughter's friends about this for ideas, too.
    timelessglass

    Answer by timelessglass at 6:46 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • I don't know....My 11 yr old, my 3 yr old and sometimes my 7 yr old frequently end up sleeping in the floor next to my bed. I wake up and step on them. I don't fret over it, because as long as they start out in their own rooms so hubby and I can have private time, then if thats what it takes to comfort them, then fine. The only thing you can really do, is get up and walk her back to her own room. She will eventually get the point, but knowing that my kids will outgrow it and that they won't be here forever, then it doesnt bother me.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 7:13 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • So I have heard,. america is the only country where people have a problem cosleeping with their children....I see nothing wrong with this...unless of course it b others you that much then maybe you can try buying her a new bed or decorating it just the way she likes her room, like hann a montana or something ...maybe that will make her want to stay in her room, it worked for my nieces....i am bad i let both my kids sleep in my room, or ill actually fall asleep with them in theirs...
    protectivemompa

    Answer by protectivemompa at 8:57 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • getting a lock on your door can cause more problems than would help. Make some rules for your child like telling them that at bed time they can only sleep in their bed or before your child comes into your room, they have to knock,if you don't answer, they cant come in. At eight you should be able to talk with your child about having mommy's personal time and how your children can respect it
    lilblu399

    Answer by lilblu399 at 9:27 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • I think you should sit her down and explain that she's at an age now where she needs to start sleeping through the night in her own bed. Explain to her that you both need your rest and being woken up in the middle of the night isn't reasonable anymore. I think you should be really sensitive about it since this started after such a tradgedy. Or even give her a date (May 15th perhaps) and tell her that after that date the midnight visits need to stop.... that way she can prepare herself a little.
    stepmom929

    Answer by stepmom929 at 10:21 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • my son did this and it was soooo hard to stop it once I let it go on for so long. He would climb into my bed and I wouldn't even wake up, so I had to tell him that if he woke up, to wake me up. I would stay up, in the living room while he went back into his bed and I would wait for him to fall back to sleep. It took awhile (like a week or longer) but it worked and now he almost never gets into bed w/me anymore. Then make sure that she gets some kind of reward for trying, because it can be a hard thing to break and they need something to make it worth while. We told my son that he could have something like1.00 per night that he slept in his bed. That might sound like a lot but at the end of a week, its only like $5.00 - $10.00 and that's just enough to get a cool toy and then the habit is broke!

    JenniferDeegan

    Answer by JenniferDeegan at 10:22 AM on Apr. 20, 2009

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