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Would you go to the funeral?

I had this dream last night that my ex boyfriend died and no one told me about it.... so it got me thinking all today... what if he really did kick the old bucket, would I even go to his funeral? My DH and ex went to same high school, they don't get along too well, so I know he wouldn't like it too much. But my ex and I ended on good terms, so I would like to attend... However I don't know if I would feel comfortable with my DH going to an ex's funeral if the situation was vice versa. Does the jealously end when someone dies? Do dead exes still bring bad feelings for others or does the death make it a moot point? Maybe I'm little immature about it and high school wasn't that long ago, but oh well, not the point.
In this hypothetical situation, what would you do? Do you go to their funeral or mourn at home by yourself privately?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:42 PM on Apr. 15, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • what would be the point of going and causing strife with dh? Funerals are for the living. It's not like your x would know you were there and appreciate the visit. Personally, I think you'd be better off mourning in your own way and not causing potential problems at home. It just would show dh that you were thinking of x and maybe still had feelings. I think you'd be asking for trouble

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:44 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • Depends do you have kids together? If its an old friend its a personal choice and your DH should accept your friendship. The friend is dead and no longer a threat to him. I would go if it were a good friend. Jealousy ends only when the person who is jealous is secure in who they are and in their relationship. So if it happens and you feel it is right then go to the funeral and if your husband is mad about it then talk to him about it and maybe go to calling hours and not the funeral. Its a tough one and it all depends on why your husband hates him.

    Answer by brailynsmama08 at 7:45 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • I dunno. I've only had three exes, and one of which is no long an ex. If my first ex would pass away we'd both be there as he is like a brother to the guy I'm with now. I would go to the other ex's because I share a child with him. So I would go to all of my ex's if I knew about them.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:46 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • I don't go to funerals. period. The only ones I have attended are for 2 of my close friends who lost a parent and that was for them and to support them. I have lost a couple close friends myself and have not attended a single funeral. I want my last memory to be of them alive. And I have already told DH that if I die before him it better be a rocking party and not some sad sob fest or I'll come back and haunt them all.
    So no I wouldnt go

    Answer by theheartbaby at 7:48 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • The funeral is done for closure. I'd tell DH you need to go to close the book on the past. He'll be able to picture this as the last time you talk or think about the ex then.

    Hypothetically speaking, of course!

    (Awful dream. Maybe it has some Freudian meaning that you have put that old relationship to death?)

    Answer by timelessglass at 7:48 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • Go no matter what. It's about closure for you and respect for living relatives. The more people the better (as long as they are on good terms).

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 8:03 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • I say funeral are their for u to say goodbye. I jsut had this discussion with my mom. she wanted to know what to do if my dads parents dies since they are divorced. i told her to do what she feels she needs to do to say goodbye to them!

    Answer by RhiannonHunt at 8:18 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • I know this might sound insensitive but if your ex died then your husband really doesn't have anything to worry about. It's just to say goodbye and pay your respects to his family.

    Answer by dawn_misayo at 9:05 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • I would say if you guys went your own ways on good terms, Than yeah. I agree with dawn_misayo. I doubt my hubby would care, actually he is still friends with and talks to some of his exs. And I have met them as well. I would only go to 1 of my exs funerals.

    Answer by kathynej7142007 at 9:19 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • I would go to my ex husbands funeral and I am sure that no one would agree with me but after a bitter divorce we are on good terms and I would not mind if he came to mine either. I don't know about my guy though...might not be too fond of that so he probably wouldn't go. I see no problem in paying respect to them.

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 10:25 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

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