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My boyfriend is never around.

I am about 18 weeks pregnant, and my boyfriend (who has not proposed yet) has been going out to the bar and going out with friends and leaving me at home pregnant and miserable, help me, why is he doing this and what can i do??? When he found out that i was pregnent he was happy, he was scared but happy to be a dad, but now he is never home???

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newmom092009

Asked by newmom092009 at 9:36 PM on Apr. 15, 2009 in Relationships

Level 6 (114 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • You're not married yet, you can still ditch him you know!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:37 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • He is lazy still a child and you need to let his a** go do not put up with something and you are not married to him. My hubby yes hubby is doing the samething and now i'm 25 weeks and I have 3 other girls and I'm about to put his a** out real fast. cause it will not get better
    Mz.PhatPhat

    Answer by Mz.PhatPhat at 9:44 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • Have you tried telling him how much it hurts you to sit at home while he goes out partying? Make a compromise with him cuz he can't do this stuff when the baby comes. Sounds like he's immature and probably thinking he's not ready. Must be nice, he's not the one who has to carry and give birth to the child. As for not proposing, maybe he's not ready for that either. Talk about it, and if he won't marry you, then decide if it's worth staying with him or not.
    dawn_misayo

    Answer by dawn_misayo at 9:45 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • he doesn't want the responsibility and it won't change after the baby is here. maybe you should consider adoption so the baby isn't rejected by his own father and you chasing him trying to make him grow up etc. levae his sorry ass and think about what is best for you guys. he is gone already and he is showing you his true colors already. be lucky you know now not after the baby was born.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 9:51 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • I have the same problem except, we dont live together. When we get into an arguement he suddenly "needs time to himself" (his codewords for going out with his friends like i dont know) and he's MIA for days. I haven't seen him since sunday and basically told him today "im ready to walk away because im done being 2nd in your eyes and if you think this baby is going to wait for your time to yourself, your wrong"..now he wants to come around and talk and i wont allow it because im serious. Talk to him about it, tell him your feelings. You still have time to leave if things dont change, i know it will be hard but in the end you have to do whats best for your child.
    Marix3

    Answer by Marix3 at 9:55 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • My fiance does this ALL the time...well..he used to...but he'll be around..you just have to talk to him about it and how it makes you feel... =(
    MissKellee

    Answer by MissKellee at 10:03 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • maybe he's "letting it all out" before the baby comes and doesnt even realize how much it is affecting you. have you tried talking to him? he might not think it's a big deal, but if he isnt around so much now, will he be going out every night when the baby is around? HE BETTER NOT! you need his support! as for getting married, has it been discussed? do you want him to propose just because you're pregnant?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:14 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • We have talked about getting married, and he said he wants to be with me for the rest of his life and he has even told his sister that he wants to marry me, but if someone wants to be with you for the rest of their life then why would they choose beer over there love and the one she is carring.
    newmom092009

    Answer by newmom092009 at 10:22 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • I think it's time to let go of all the excuses and see him for who he really is. He's not ready to be a responsible father, it's time to face reality and move on.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:23 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • okay, i dont understand the whole "he hasnt proposed yet" please tell me you're not marrying him just because you got knocked up? IMO thats stupidity and just gonna result in a divorce (not trying to be a bitch)
    Anyway.... when i first got pregnant my SO said he was excited too and did the same things that your boyfriend is doing also resulted in me getting cheated on when i was four months pregnant, I understand that he may be "getting it out of his system" but its not fair to you that hes leaving you alone all the time, you need to tell him to knock off his shit or you're gone, also make him aware that going out to the bar is not practicing good budgeting skills. Maybe talk about like once a month he can go out with his friends but not all the time
    Breezy1988

    Answer by Breezy1988 at 10:42 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

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