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15 yo daughter testing boundaries

I have a 15 year old daughter and she's going through a phase of testing her boundaries. I just had to quit my job because of it. She was sneaking around with boys while I was at work. She's too old for a sitter, my husband works full time, and I'm supposed to start CNA classes in June, followed by college classes for RN. How am I supposed to leave her alone while I work? In today's economy, how can either of us afford NOT to work? There are no family members that can watch her either. At her age, she shouldn't NEED a sitter, should she????

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Asked by clyons75 at 12:11 AM on Apr. 16, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

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Answers (11)
  • Honestly, get her a sitter. An older one, but not too old... maybe late 30's.
    She will realize that you have to work and cant be there.. but that doesnt mean she can do what she wants.

    Make her mean too!! LOL.
    She will give up and come begging to you!!

    Answer by mommyofAurora at 12:15 AM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • At that age, I was doing the same thing. My parents weren't around either. In this economy you can afford not to work, many of us are doing it.
    At her age she definitely needs supervision because at that age they think they are adults, but don't always make good decisions.
    You should rearrange your schedules so that you or your husband are there at all times after she's done with school. Left to her own devices, she could get involved in sex- which could obviously lead to std's or illegitimate children, or partying, or alcohol and drugs.

    Answer by MicahsMom612 at 12:17 AM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • Maybe a cop can help you out by talking to her?

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:20 AM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • Im almost 19. My advice.. please dont call the cops to talk to her.. unless she SERIOUSLY did something. Because it will show her that she can sneak out and do all the stuff she had been doing with out getting into legal trouble.. and having the cop just talk to her.
    Ive been there a couple years ago myself.

    Just get a mean baby sitter!
    She will feel like a little child.
    And she will hate it .

    Answer by mommyofAurora at 12:25 AM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • The sitter sounds like the way to go, but there are no sitters around here that take kids her age and everyone I know is either unwilling to do it, or have such an active life with jobs, etc, that they just can't do it. That was option I looked into before I quit my job.

    Maybe I didn't phrase the comment about not being able to afford not to work. My husband's job isn't a great paying one, mine wasn't either, which is why I'm going to do the nursing thing. WE can't afford for either of us not to work.

    With my nursing classes AND working, I'll be away a good bit, and my hubby is trying to work out his hours to be here when I'm not, but his boss isn't exactly cooperating either. ::SIGH:: I just don't know what to do and June is coming fast.

    Answer by clyons75 at 12:31 AM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • okay im 17 almost 18... im just a couple of years older than her! But really she just needs attention i dont know but i went thru that and everything my parents tried everything. they called the cops (they didnt stop me), they tried sending me to boot camp(didnt help either), i ran away made a couple of mistakes and now i regret it! and HONESTLY she is still goin to do what she wants one way or another and i know u quit ur job n stuff but she can still wait till u sleep n sneak out trust me I KNOW. well just think of when u were around her age and basicaally she hasnt done anything u havent i guess

    Answer by ALEENAzMOMMY09 at 2:20 AM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • ii know u should tell them to bring them over and embarass her but dont get carried out i hated that im pretty sure she will too!

    Answer by ALEENAzMOMMY09 at 2:21 AM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • I have often considered quitting my job to keep an eye on my 13 year old, but for various reasons I decided not to. I also don't think I or anyone can keep 100% eye on her. I just try to keep on my toes, have them call me when they get home from school and stuff like that, but who knows what she does coming home? And I can't be sure kids don't come over to the house, etc. And she has disbbeyed a few times, but overall, I think it is more worry that sure, hard evidence she is doing something wrong.

    So, I do worry, but I don't want to spend my life spying on her. I'd even rather she make a few mistakes (I pray they are not big, and I talk talk talk to her!) than thinking I can 'save' her.

    On CM, I once saw something about a teen who got pregant at the movies with 'friends'. So, are you going to go into every movie with her?

    Talk to her and set the rules, but do move on with your own life.


    Answer by PhillyinFrance at 7:37 AM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • Take everything that she values. TV, Laptop, Cell Phone, Ipod, everything. Tell her those items are not necessities and if she wants them back they can earn them back one by one by doing what she is told and following your rules. If she is going to act like a little child then she shall be treated like one and children dont need cell phones, ipods or computers. Remind her that going out with friends is a privillage and she has to earn your trust back. And that it will not happen over night.

    Answer by Vanessannd at 11:38 AM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • Get a sitter,
    but you have to make sure that the sitter doesnt let her get away with things becuase
    in most situations the sitter just doesnt care, find one you trust, and you'll have to tell the sitter about your issues, so they can understand and help out, but if you dont do somthing the situation can get worse.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:27 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

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