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Should I be worried about my boyfriend talking to his ex?

I"m 20...My boyfriend {21} just started talking to his ex middle school girlfriend{21}. He has hinted to me before that he believes that she was a 'lost love' this was of course before they found eachother on myspace. But now She's married and has 3 kids. He's been with me{20} now for 3 years and we have two kids ourselves. Basically what has been going on is that me and him having been fighting quite a bit lately and he's been talking to her about our problems. This is something that she has written to him:

I just don't think it should be so hard to love someone. As a matter of fact I know it's not because it's instant with you.

Does this mean that she loves him? I'm confused after reading it over and over that's what I thought. Do you think I need to be worried? He has told me that he doesn't want to be with her and that he wants to be with me. [mainly the fact that she's married and has 3 kids].

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Asked by Tanyamaire at 12:19 AM on Apr. 16, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (6)
  • Im sorry sweet heart! :(
    Im all pregannt and emotional.. i just cried for you!!!

    Hes being a jerk..

    Seriously, ask him about it. Ask him how he took what she said.. because it doesnt matter what she ment by it.. what matters is how he took it.
    I dont think him talking to her is a big deal.. but him talking to her about YOUR relationship is.

    Answer by mommyofAurora at 12:22 AM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • I have asked him about this because I certainly do no like him talking to her about our problems, that's our business and no one elses. Worst part is that she's the one who even asked him what we fight about, which I still don't agree with.

    Anyways when I have asked him about it he just says that its nice to have someone to talk to about this.. which yes that's ok to have someone to talk to about it... but not his EX girlfriend.. I don't understand why he can't talk to his brother or even a GUY friend..

    I don't like it, but It doesn't matter what I say he's still going to do it.

    Answer by Tanyamaire at 12:25 AM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • well for one.. he should never open that emotional attachement to another women by telling her about his personal problems... They will automatically put you in a bad light and him in a need of TLC from someone else. I suggest you talk to your Boyfriend about it and let him know that he may not be having a phsical affiar, but by telling her his problems with you, he his having an emotional affiar... You are the one he should be talking about ya'lls problems with.. Not her! Also if things don't work out or get worse.. I'm sure you know what the best thing for yourself and kids you can do... Good luck... I sure do hope it works out for you!

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 12:26 AM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • if he says he wants you I'd believe him and leave it alone

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:32 AM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • I would NEVER let my boyfriend talk to a "lost love" especially if she is going to be flirty and know we have frequent arguements. I think that is emotional cheating and I won't tolerate it. I respect my boyfriend enough to not talk to someone I know I may fall for again so I leave it alone. Why should you trust him not to fall for her again. I would be so upset.

    Answer by Mommy2Mariah at 1:23 AM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • Finding and talking to an old flame is not necessarily a red flag for me. For me, the red flag is that he is talking to her about the problems he is having with you. THAT is inappropriate. It's not inappropriate b/c it's her, but b/c he shouldn't talk to friends about problems he has with you; he should talk to you. I could understand talking to a parent, or maybe an older sibling with more life experience and relationship experience, but otherwise it should be you he is talking to. But then when you add in that she is an old girlfriend, and he's told you he feels she's a lost love, and with what she says, I do think you need to talk to him. You need to find out what is going on, so that you can figure out if you want to or can put up with it, or if the relationship needs to end, or whatever. You are definitely not wrong.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 7:56 AM on Apr. 16, 2009

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