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depressed about my love's ex girlfriend.

Long story short. I'm forced to deal w/ her from time to time. She is really good friends w/ some of my really good friends. We recently went to a music festival w/ a group of likr 20 friends. She always says how important it is that her & MY fiance stay friends. I'm like "whatever". My fiance cares for her in a friendly kind of way, but he dumped her back in the day & promises that he was never in love with her. He said being with her was a mistake (i believe him %100). Anyway, she posts ALL these pics on her myspace page from the event. Every single one of me is BUTT UGLY! Then she goes & posts these super HOT pics of my fiance that she took w/ her professional camera. It just shook me the wrong way. For some stupid reason it made me cry this morning. It rubbed me the wrong way. I have also made attempts to be a closer friend to her, which she rejects. But, continued......

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:17 AM on Apr. 16, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (19)
  • I would not try to be her friend because it seems like she could never be your true friend anyway if she has some kind of feelings for your fiance. Just be friendly to her in group situations. She seems to be attempting to make you jealous maybe because she sees now what she missed out on with your fiance. I would just make sure you tell your fiance how you feel...and then ignore her silly attempts. All that matters is you and your fiance are happy...eventually she'll see that she was the past and will stay that way.
    fpraglowski

    Answer by fpraglowski at 8:25 AM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • OP HERE, she makes it a point to show how close she is with all of my friends. So it really hurts that she rejects me. I feel like she is saying she doesn't like me. What the heck shoudl i do? Should i stop trying to be her friend?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:19 AM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • Maybe you just need to have a nice one on one talk with her.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:21 AM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • OP

    You know, i tried that. And she drunenly said that "she is a threat to me because she'll always love MY fiance (as friends, but i think that is BULL". I should have slapped her. She swears that i heard her wrong, but i know i didn't.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:23 AM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • Wow, well I don't know what else to say since I have never been in that situation. Ever talk to your SO about it?

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:25 AM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • Yeah, he always tells me how awesome i am for being "cool" about it. & maybe i am cool on most of the time, but when i see hot pictures of my love on her web page, it doesn't feel good. I mentioned it to him this morning, & he snapped & said "your stupid myspace, it's always causing you problems." which is true. It allows me to be nosy. He says she is that way becuase she is now in her 40's, single & lonely. And that i should not worry about her becuase i have him. And he is right. But, it can be so hard. I find myseld obsessing about her for days. Why do I do that? I have never obsessed about an ex like this, i feel like I'm going a little nutty.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:31 AM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • I wouldn't go out of your way to be friends w/ her. She doesn't care enough about you to be your friend, just your fiances. She is doing these things to get under your skin and its working. Best to let her do her own childish things, and Let It Go! Be nice when you are all together, but drop it at that. She will stop acting like this eventually, when she sees that it is not bothering you anymore.
    Tiffany237

    Answer by Tiffany237 at 8:31 AM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • OP HERE

    thank you Tiffany. I think you are correct. She is trying to get under my skin, & I'm allowing it to happen. Now i need to find a way to get her out of my head. I try so hard too, but it doesn't work very well. And when she is around, it's almost impossible to ignor. Fiance said maybe we need to stop haning around when she comes, but then i feel like i obviously have a problem with her, & i would like for her to think that I dont. Also, it would cause drama with all the other friends if i made it a point to not hang out with her.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:37 AM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • yep best not to try to be her friend, she is trying to show you up that you are noesy and trying to let your so see this side of you that gets you rawled up. I think you should just ignore her she'll eventually won't even bother you.
    Rebeccaroe

    Answer by Rebeccaroe at 8:40 AM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • I think you are just adding fuel to her fire when you guys " hang out with her". She loves that! I think your friends will understand if you don't do that anymore. They prolly already know she's whack-o. So what if she knows you are avoiding her? If I knew someone was avoiding me, I'd take the hint.
    GMR

    Answer by GMR at 9:01 AM on Apr. 16, 2009

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