Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Why a younger man marries an older woman?

Your point of view would help me understand why my "baby brother" with a full time job has married a woman who is 20 years older than him despite our family opposition.The woman also works full time has two sons 20 & 24.
Please help me understand this.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:23 AM on Apr. 16, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (18)
  • He probably isn't thinking of having kids right now. And this relationship may not last forever. He may decide one day that he does want kids and if he is still with her maybe they can adopt. Or he might find someone younger. Who knows? But it's his decision to make, even if you don't agree with it. Let it go. He is still SO young. So many things can change in life.
    GMR

    Answer by GMR at 8:51 AM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • Depends on how his relationship is with his mother. Older women have stability and control over their lives. The sex is good with older women also because the are experienced and know what to do and what not to do. Same damn reason why I like me an older man. Oh! and these are to name a few.
    diamondmamma

    Answer by diamondmamma at 8:26 AM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • Love, attraction, her experience in life. She may be a truly good person. She is motherly and probably less likely to want to fight and argue over stupid things girls his age would want to argue over. She has a career and has had her wild days and is mature and ready to be married and settled down. She isn't after his money if she has her own job. You can not help who you fall in love with. Age is a number and if your basing your feelings on her by her age then you need to look in the mirror and ask yourself why do you think your better then her or that your brother is to good for her. Ask yourself what has she done to us other then being older then your brother? With age comes wisdom and if you love your brother and she has done nothing to you then maybe you should give her a chance and be mature before your brother walks out on your family for not supporting him or his wife.
    brailynsmama08

    Answer by brailynsmama08 at 8:27 AM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • You don't need to understand it but you do need to accept it especially if you want to continue a relationship with your brother.

    beeky

    Answer by beeky at 8:32 AM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • Maybe he loves her? The way you say "baby brother" and "despite our family opposition" makes me think that you expect him to do whatever your family says. He's an adult, he can do what he wants. So regardless of why he married her, that was his decision, and your family needs to accept it or risk losing him over it.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 8:36 AM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • Thank you ladies for all your comments. I would have to learn to accept her. The only think that I think is not fair is that my brother won't be able to have his own children since the obvious reason that her bearing years are gone already. It is not important for her to have more children since she is already thinking about grandchildren.
    But for my brother don't you think that he has the right to experiment fatherhood at some point of his life?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:47 AM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • This is OP above...I forgot to mention it
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:47 AM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • I have a friend. And recently her sister married a guy 16 years younger than her. It's weird because she is well in her 30's & LOOKS like a 30 something year old. And he looks like a baby. Although he is at least 20, he looks 16. So, it's funny seeing them together. The family was against it at first. My friend would bitch about it all day saying she can't believe her sister is marrying a baby. But, her family loves the guy now. They have TOTALLY excepted him, and he is a part of their family. Not sure how HIS family dealt with it though. But, maybe instead of focusing on age, focus on her good qualities. If they are totally happy together, then age has no meaning. And you should try and be happy that she loves him so much. At least you know she'll probably never dump him. She is probably psyched that she is w/ a hot young man.

    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 8:49 AM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • If he WANTs to experience father hood, but he may not. It's not for everyone. He has probably already thought of that too. Maybe let him choose his own path?
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 8:51 AM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • Are you sure your brother WANTS to have children? And even though she is considerably older, how do you know they won't still have a child? Look at all the women that have their first kids in the late 30's, or 40's, I've even seen first time moms in theif 50's. Would I do it? No. Would you? Probably not. But that doesn't mean she's not considering it. Her kids are grown, maybe she misses a baby. Yes, her kids are old enough to give her grandkids. But there are people who have kids that are younger than some of their grandkids. I'm just trying to say that while I get that you're disappointed on his behalf about kids, there may not be a reason to be disappointed. He may not want them, or maybe they will have some anyway. You just have to wait and see.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 8:53 AM on Apr. 16, 2009

close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN