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What would you say or do?

I found out last night by through my mom that my 17 year old niece is pregnant, well tested positive. My niece and I have always been very close. She was on birth control but didn't wait long enough and plus she told her parents that she used a condom and it broke. The boy she is with I don't know much about.

I don't blame my niece. Her parents are always telling her that she needs to get laid so she will be in a better mood.

I am not ashamed of her or anything. But I don't know what to say to her. She is worried about what I will say because she looks to me for approval.

Now my thing is that I don't feel that my brother and his wife should step in and try and tell my niece what to do. I want my niece to go to the doctor I went to with all 3 of my pregnancies. Plus I want my niece to raise her child. We are having a family gathering this weekend and I am hoping she will tell me.

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palexander

Asked by palexander at 9:46 AM on Apr. 16, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Level 9 (342 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Cont..I plan to speak with the dad this weekend. I don't care if it is my place or not. My niece needs a friend and I can almost bet that my brother will start calling her a slut and whore.

    What would do or how would you react.
    palexander

    Answer by palexander at 9:47 AM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • Be there for her, she is almost 18 and can live with you if your allow it. Encourage her and support her no matter what. Be her shoulder to cry on and her friend. She doesn't need another person putting her down or telling her what to do. Let her know that no matter what your there for her and will be there to help her.
    brailynsmama08

    Answer by brailynsmama08 at 9:48 AM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • Wow her parents would call her a slut or whore even when they are the ones telling her she needs to get laid? Thats sad. Speaking from a young mom's POV I think you need to be there for her because, from what I read, her parents would not be the best bet. My aunt was the first person I told and she helped me get through it. But no matter what you or her parents tell her its ultimately her decision on what she wants to do. Talk to her parents but also be a good friend to her and ask her if she wants to go to your doctor, etc.
    Good luck with everything
    AdensMommy1107

    Answer by AdensMommy1107 at 9:51 AM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • I would defiantly support her as much as you can. Take her where she needs to go, Dr's ect.

    You cant control how others react to her, but you can tell her she has one VERY loving family member who is there to get her through this.

    AND tell her that after the baby is born, you will all wonder what you did before they were born.

    In the heat of the moment, when all truth comes out is hard, after baby is born, most people forgive and forget. I told a younger friend this, and she came back and told me how right I was.

    Just be there for her in this hard first times.
    mom2twobabes

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 9:53 AM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • The thing is that she is pregnant and no one can change that just be there for her.
    And tell her to ignore all that negativity people do to make you feel bad.
    Next year everyone will be loving and throwing the baby around everyone will be wanting to hold and love on it. Just be there for her. GL
    Butterfly1108

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 9:56 AM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • Thanks so much. I was 20 when I had my dd but I can't image being 17. I know I will cry when I tall to her because I can't help but pray that this doesn't ruin her life. If I had room for her, I would let her move in but my 3 bedroom is full. I may talk to my mom and see if she would let her move in there. My niece doesn't need her parents putting more stress on her.
    palexander

    Answer by palexander at 10:22 AM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • Like another poster said, let her life with you if it is possible. She needs to be away from the negativity in her own home. Be there for her, take her to the doc (she doesn't need a parent for that because she is pregnant), help her make the decision that is best for her. If she decides to keep the baby, help her out. She will need lots of help, to care for the baby and herself. It doesn't sound like her parents will. If she doesn't say anything to you, take her aside and talk to her. Do not talk to the bf unless she wants you to. She needs to be the one to talk to him first. You can be there to support her, but she needs to do the talking.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 12:20 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • If the bf knows, I plan to talk to him. I plan to ask him what he plans to do and tell him the same thing I am going to tell her. I feel that the decision to keep the baby is my nieces and the care for that baby is my niece's decision. Her bf is only 18 and I have seen him around my boys and he doesn't act ready so I am excepting him to run off. Which is fine. She don't need him. She can raise that baby herself.

    Whether we take her out of her home is up to her parents. If they start being jerks then yes, I will step in. They were going to let her move back and live with me months ago but I couldn't afford a plane ticket. They did leave her to live with her grandma for about a month before they came back.
    palexander

    Answer by palexander at 2:34 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • i got pregnant when iu was 15 im now 17 in online highschool, im doing fine and im a proud momma, in my opinion hmm i think allot of teenage girls say they got pregnant on accident, when i think its bullshit, they think theyre gonna get out of the house early and on there own , but shes in for slap in the face of life, birth control and condoms, yeah and it was my first time and i used a condom when i got pregnant at 15, well its hard just support her and be there for her like my family was here for me, WHORE- a person who sells sex for money or who sleeps with many different people, if thats dosent sound like ur neice then she isnt one
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:14 PM on Apr. 19, 2009

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