My husband was in the military so we always lived away from our hometown. He got out 2 yrs ago so we moved back to the area since we have 2 little girls. Loved it at first. Now my husband is back working overseas because he just couldn't do an office job. That part is ok! but ever since we got married his mother is always trying to control and step in. Its worse now living near them. His sister is your friend when she needs something and now that i have just pushed it all away his sister wants to be close again. Reasoning? she is a horrible friend, she doesn't know how to treat people. My husband have had so many arguments over his family, but if i don't go around them they call and complain to him and then he gets upset w/ me. Even when he decided to go overseas again. His family wouldn't talk to him for weeks because it wasn't the decision they wanted....ugh!Answer Question
As long as they aren't paying any bills, they shouldn't be in your business at all. If they do pay for something or whatever that gives them (they think) the right to control what goes on. Write them a letter and set the boundaries. If they screw up, then you can take a cooling off period where you don't see each other. Keep doing this and they will learn.
Answer by legalmommy101 at 10:23 AM on Apr. 16, 2009
Answer by admckenzie at 10:25 AM on Apr. 16, 2009
Answer by Anonymous at 10:29 AM on Apr. 16, 2009
Answer by Anonymous at 10:31 AM on Apr. 16, 2009
Answer by amommy2a2yrold at 10:42 AM on Apr. 16, 2009
Answer by MizLee at 11:37 AM on Apr. 16, 2009
I've learned that its better to politely set your boundaries. Arguments do nothing. And if my hubby has a problem speaking up, i do it - politely , But firm. That way, next time something comes up, its easier for hubs to say something because they already know where we stand.
Then everyone's happy. I'm happy because i enforced the boundaries, hubs is happy because inlaw isn't upset over an argument, and because I enforced the boundaries.
Andim happy because its easier for hubs to grow a backbone to speak up..!!
Don't argue with each other about it. He decided to go overseas. He needs to understand that its not easy for you as well, and you do need your own space.
Set your boundaries if he isn't going to! Its very important they know your place in Your family. Its your job to do it girl. Not easy but you can do it!
Answer by aMbeR012005 at 12:10 PM on Apr. 16, 2009
This is all great advice but being someone in the same boat it is hard. We just moved back from Texas and we are right back in the same situation. You can make the situation worse if you come at them too strong and if they are good to your kids that won't help. I know it's lame but sometimes you just have to be the better person and keep yourself emotionally distant.
Answer by JenNAY3 at 12:16 PM on Apr. 16, 2009
Answer by mom2XandZ at 12:16 PM on Apr. 16, 2009
Answer by cutesherrie84 at 10:18 PM on Apr. 16, 2009
Next question in Relationships
how did u find your husband what make him to married you
Next question overall
What stroller for 2 twins girls do you like better?