Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Can a man and a woman really be friends?

I have a good male friend (maybe you can call him even my best 'male' friend). We talk almost every day, exchange insults, fart around and like to be around eachother. We do tell eachother that we love eachother, but it's strictly platonic. He's almost like a brother to me.
Now here's the question..Do you think we can be truelly be friends, with no Love or sexual feelings attached? One of my friends suggested that maybe he has, deep down, feelings for me, but I think it's total nonsense.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:23 AM on Apr. 16, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • i think even if he does have those feelings as long as he respects your wishes to be friends than yes. just b/c you have feelings for someone doesn't mean you have to act on them, you can push them aside for the sake of friendship or you can act on them and risk the friendship. if hes as good a friend you say he is and knows you aren't interested than he won't act on them. so yes a man and a woman can be friends
    vabchmommy

    Answer by vabchmommy at 10:26 AM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • Yes and no. I have a male best friend but I've never met him. I've been chatting with him for about 7 years. He has told me that he had feelings for me in the past. I'd never have a male friend that I hung out with.

    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 10:27 AM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • As long as there is no sex and love feelings involved yes be the best of friends.
    And as time goes by only time will tell if you guys are meant to be it will eventually turn into love and then the sex. I strongly believe if everyone would do this we will be very happy in our relationships. We are just too quick to have sex and then we are left with no one (sometimes). GL
    Be friends (before lovers) if it happens.
    Butterfly1108

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 10:28 AM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • My very very very very bestest friend is a male. We've been friends for 8 years. =) Half my life. He is the bestest, truest fried I've ever had. And we have never been any kind of love interest.
    amy31308

    Answer by amy31308 at 10:29 AM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • From personal experience, I had a best male friend who I would just be myself around, burp-fart-all that stuff. Turns out he did have deep down feelings for me and one drunken night decided to act on them.
    NOT saying your friend is like that, he could really just be a platonic friend. If you feel its total nonsense then dont listen to it. Once you start thinking about the friendship being more it TOTALLY ruins the friendship (that is unless you want it to happen like that, as im sure a lot of women would point out that they fell in love with their best friend)
    AdensMommy1107

    Answer by AdensMommy1107 at 10:29 AM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • platonic friendship with the opposite sex is normal and healthy! I have a best male friend, who I actually did date for a while but we were better off as friends and once we had some space from each other after the break up, it was like it never happened and we have a wonderful healthy friendship! SO also has many female friends and I have become friends with them as well.
    Owl_Feather

    Answer by Owl_Feather at 10:30 AM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • Clearly your doing the friend thing not everything is like a movie where a guy is secretly in love with the girl I have a couple great guy friends i wouldn't say the line wasn't pushed on a drunken night but never crossed and i think that's what makes our friendship so good cause sex clouds a guys mind and complicates things
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:32 AM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • yes they can be just friends
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:48 AM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • OF COURSE!!!!!! But, i think some people are better at it than others. My best friend is a guy. He has been my best friend since we were 12 years old. I guess when you grow up with someone, you don't think about having sex with them. Funny, because i am the exact same way w/ my best friend Raffi. I tell him i love him ALL the time, just like i do my girlfriends. People have said to me that he really had feelings for me deep down, but that is just NOT TRUE! We have known each other long enough that we know each other like the backs of our hands, and if he DID have feelings for me, he had PLENTY of time to show then when we were single & playing video games in my bedroom. YES MALES & FEMALES CAN BE FRIENDS. But, i think only mature people can do this really.

    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 11:31 AM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • 3 yrs ago I would have said yes. But one of my really good friends came on to me, and then a lot of them started to do that. I had only one platonic friends and he told me that basically, even if you guys are just friends, if he had an opprotunity to have sex with you, he would do it. He said all guys would. He said that When Harry Met Sally is a perfect example. But my husband isn't like that. He doesn't have any female friends now, but he did when we were dating. He said ain't no way he would ever have sex with his female friends. He said he can't be friends with someone he's attracted to. So I guess it just depends. If you ever catch yourself having feelings or spending quality time with this guy and not your man, then you got a problem. There should a clear distinction between the two. Your man should always come first.
    dawn_misayo

    Answer by dawn_misayo at 11:33 AM on Apr. 16, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN