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what do you do when people get into your business?

So today I was walking with my 7 month old in her Bjorn and my 22 month-old holding my hand, about to get in my car in front of the library, when a woman of about 40 said, in a very sweet tone, "Wow, they're so close together!" Thinking she was being sweet and curious and maybe wondering how I do it, I said, "Yeah, 15 months!" And she replied, in the same sugary tone, "That's WAY too close. You're supposed to wait 2-3 years for your body to recover!" So my blood began to boil and all I could come up with was, "Thanks. That's very helpful to me right now." And she said, "well, you're probably not having any more anyway... They're so cute!" I was livid. Why do people feel it's their business to judge that way you parent, the choices you make about having kids, etc. How do you ladies handle things like this?

 
EmilySusan

Asked by EmilySusan at 11:34 AM on Apr. 16, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 5 (79 Credits)
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Answers (13)
  • "Really? We were trying for closer, but missed the mark a couple of months."

    "No more? Nah...we're hoping I'm pregnant right now! We're hoping to crank out one a year until my uterus falls out."


    (my two oldest are 22 months apart...to the day...and my youngest two are 11 months apart for a total of 3 in 33 months. I hear this kind of crap all the time!)
    TiccledBlue

    Answer by TiccledBlue at 11:52 AM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • LOL those are the kind of people who go to the library!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:36 AM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • What do you mean? I go to the library! It's a good place to take kids!
    EmilySusan

    Answer by EmilySusan at 11:37 AM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • I would have said "The BEST surprises are unplanned". Whether your children were planned or not is no ones business. Opinions are like a--holes. Everyones got one and everyone thinks that everyone elses stinks. let it roll off your back.
    JessieK79

    Answer by JessieK79 at 11:39 AM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • Girl it's gonna keep happening. From the time you are a woman you are gonna get unwanted advice (so when are you gonna settle down and start a family? So when are you two gonna have a baby? ) Then once you have the baby, it gets worse! I would have said in the same sugary tone "why don't you mind your own buisness, I never asked you what you thought about my family." It happens to my DD cuz she's shy and give people dirty looks and people will say oh who taught you to be mean? Your mommy? Uh no she just doesn't like you! Ignore those people, they don't know you and they have nothing better to do than to criticize other moms. Mom on mom bashing is the worst!
    dawn_misayo

    Answer by dawn_misayo at 11:40 AM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • I just brush it off because I know I will have to encounter judgements and people having to butt in. I look VERY young, many people think im 12-14 and even though I am young I am FAR from 12-14 so everyone thinks they must come up to me and ask my age in an "omg" type tone. Everyone! I guess when you have children young like me or if you have children close together people are going to think its there place to say something about it. It gets annoying, believe me, but try to ignore it.
    AdensMommy1107

    Answer by AdensMommy1107 at 11:41 AM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • I have a problem with unwed mothers having children back to back like that. But hey its their lives and their choice! My sis did that and I chewed her out bad.
    diamondmamma

    Answer by diamondmamma at 11:41 AM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • You are overreacting and she is right. You are supposed to wait two years. But life happens and that is a good thing. I think she overstepped a little bit, but you are blowing it out of proportion. Take a breath and let it go.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:44 AM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • LMAO....TICCLEDBLUE....THIS IS THE FIRST GODAMN QUESTION THAT ACTUALLY GOT ME CRYING OVER HERE!!! DAMN...THANKS!!
    diamondmamma

    Answer by diamondmamma at 11:54 AM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • IF YOU ARE "SUPPOSED TO WAIT TWO YEARS "THEN YOUR BODY WOULDN'T HAVE LET YOU HAVE A BABY, ITS YOUR CHOOSE HAVE THEM WHEN YOU WANT! I COMPLETLY AGREE WITH JESSEK79!
    ELIZABETHSMO902

    Answer by ELIZABETHSMO902 at 11:57 AM on Apr. 16, 2009

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