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Why does he lie? And what am i supposed to do about it??

My five year old step son lies about everything!! Even silly things that he would never get in trouble for. I have tried everything and nothing helps. PLEASE I NEED ADVICE

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Asked by robertsmom_25 at 1:22 PM on Apr. 16, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (5)
  • Lying at this age is really, really common. One of the most common reasons for lying is that regardless of whether they'll get in trouble or not, they want to tell you what they think you want to hear - they actually are trying to please you. They also are developing a pretty stringent sense of right and wrong, and ironically this can cause them to lie even if the threat of punishment isn't there - they still want to avoid blame and disappointing you. Here is a short article called How to Overcome Your Child's Lying: Three Step Lying Solution that is really wonderful.


    Answer by Collinsky at 1:33 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • As Collinsky says, it's very common and really only b/c they are trying to make you happy. I always told my son when he lied about something b/c he was afraid of being in trouble, that he would only be in trouble for what he did wrong, if he told the truth, but that if he lied, he would be in trouble for what he did wrong AND the lie, which would be worse than just telling the truth. If he lied about something else that he wouldn't be in trouble for, just something silly, I'd stop him and ask him if what he was about to tell me was worth being in trouble for lying about it. If he was lying, he'd stop right then. If he was telling the truth, he'd always say, "But, I'm not lying!" and continue.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 3:07 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • I just read a article that said to tell a child that if he/she tells the truth there will be no punishment, but if they lie there will be, regardless of what they did. It actually makes sense.

    Answer by SlapHappi at 6:31 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

    This is the website I got the article off of... hope it helps

    Answer by SlapHappi at 6:32 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • well, my daughter was doing this a lot at that age. i finally couldnt take i came up with a plan. i told her if she was good all week, id take her to the movies on sat. all week she was good and kept trying figure what movie to see.....well, sat morning she got dressed and was just waiting to go....she told me to hurry up. then i told her, yknow what? mommy lied. you're not going to the movies today. her jaw dropped. she cried and said why? i told her, bc you lie to me all the time, so how would you like it if i lied to you all the time like today? as mean as i seem, she doesnt lie anymore. she is 9 now and will straight cop to the truth bc she knows it only gets worse if you lie about it.

    Answer by SpitfireShelly at 3:55 PM on May. 12, 2009

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