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Ok, so how long before it stops upsetting me to the point of tears everytime someone brings up my assault???

It has been 3 months since it happend. I'm not angry at him anymore. We are no longer together and do not plan on getting back together. I've actually been seeing someone else. But anytime something goes wrong or someone gets mad at me, the first thing they bring up is that I must have provoked him into beating me up that day!!! That's just crazy! So, when will I be at the point where I can let it roll off...and not burst into tears???

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Asked by kbrad2008 at 1:53 PM on Apr. 16, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (14)
  • I don't know because I would get upset myself, thats so messed up that people are saying that to you!

    Answer by thisloveofmine at 1:55 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • Who would say that to you.
    I can not see someone who loves you or cares about you saying that question...???

    Answer by Dannee at 1:56 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • Its a choice you make. Don't let them get your goat as they say. Ignore it and go on like it doesn't bother you then when your alone scream, yell, cry or whatever you do. If they say well you did something to provoke him then say yeah thats the excuse of someone who has never had their as$ beat so go ahead and think that and when it happens to YOU I will ask what YOU did to deserve it.

    Answer by brailynsmama08 at 1:58 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • In truth, it sort of fades away and takes time. Idiots rip it back open when they say ignorant stuff like that. Assaults are never easy to get over. Perhaps you would like to join one of CM's groups for women in abusive relationships for some moral support to get through this.

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:00 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • OMG I cant believe someone would try to tell you that it was your fault!

    It takes a while. I've had a similar experience. It takes a long while. I used to cry everytime my (now husband) boyfriend and I got into a fight. If he even turned to me too quickly I'd start crying because of the memories. It passes though. Hopefully the person you are seeing now is as understanding as my husband was.

    Answer by Michele_Lynn at 2:03 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • I don't know if the couple of people who have said it actually meant harm by it, but never-the-less, it hurts to have to relive it. It was the guy I'm talking to now that said he can "kinda" see why my ex did what he did to me. He said I should have just walked away...uh, we were in the car going about 80mph while he was beating my face I couldn't just "walk away". Even when I see the stories about Chris and Rhianna now it upsets me how people are so angry with her for how she's handling things now. NO ONE know how or what to do in that situation (until it happens to them!!!)...not during the fight or after it...

    Answer by kbrad2008 at 2:11 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • who the heck would say something like that? that's basically verbal abuse isn't it?

    it takes as long as it takes for you to heal. whoever said that to you needs to shut up. that's just wrong.


    Answer by Anonymous at 2:38 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • If I understand what you wrote the guy you are seeing now sd that he sees why he beat you? If that is the case you prolly shouldnt be with that person or at least tell him how that makes you feel. He sounds kind of heartless to say that to someone who he cares about.

    Answer by mommy806209 at 2:49 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • I can't imagine why anyone would say that to you. It's not like you got in a bar fight. And I have to be honest, I would be very disturbed and think twice before having a relationship with someone who says he can see why my ex beat me.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 3:02 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • You shouldn't talk to anyone who would want to say that to you.You should try to only have positive people in your life.I think if you still need to cry, then cry about it.If it makes you feel better.

    Answer by evelynwest at 3:11 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

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