Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

CAN I GET PRIMARY CUSTODY OF MY SON?

I live in new york and my son lives with me his father is in his life but he still stays with his parents... on day i want to eventually move out of ny so could i get custody of him are can his father some how stop me...

Answer Question
 
Mizz_Ess

Asked by Mizz_Ess at 2:17 PM on Apr. 16, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • I guess I'm confused by your question. What does him living with his parents have to do with anything? To answer the question I think you're asking....if he is on the birth certificate then he has just as many rights as you when it comes to visitation. If you have a court ordered visitation agreement then yes, you have to inform him and the court in writing before you move and he can object. Just b/c he lives with his parents doesn't mean he shouldn't be allowed to see him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:22 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • He should be allowed to see his child and yes he can stop you from leaving if it will interrupt his visitation. You need to think about your child he has a father in his life you may not like it but he does. Maybe let him have custody and you can move out of state or simply stay so your child can continue to benefit and see both parents. It is amazing how selfish some can be. I could never hurt my son and take him from his father.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:57 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • I don't think she's being selfish...I agree that a child needs a father, but a child also needs a happy mother. She could stay in NY and be depressed and apathetic, but would that benefit the child??

    And she didn't say where she was moving? For all we know it could be to NJ or PA (both of which border NY), so the move wouldn't be that big of a deal.

    Mizz Ess-you do what you need to do.
    Fallaya

    Answer by Fallaya at 4:27 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • Oops forgot to mention: don't mention anything to your baby's father about possibly wanting to move...no need to stir the pot until you know for sure what your plans are. He may freak out and try to get joint custody or something. Keep things the way they have been...
    Fallaya

    Answer by Fallaya at 4:29 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • i asked a simple question if i could get primary custody point blank dont jump to conclusions when you dont know my situation.... #1 fyi im far from selfish becuz if i was i would hve moved back south like i wanted 2 but i stayed just becuz i want his father in his life....#2 he only watches his son twice a week becuz i hve to wrk the rest of the week hes with me and 95% of the time he leaves him with his mom or sis so he can go and do what he wants and i have to beg him to come get him on sun sometimes... if i didnt go bck to wrk he wouldnt be coming 2 get him becuz he barely came n spent time with him when he was 1 to 3 mths (u think twice in one mth is good i think not) #3 i neva tell him he cant come c his child if anything encourage him but you can teach anybody how 2 be responsible or be a man thats all on him.....#4 we talked about me moving already and he already knows that i plan on moving...
    Mizz_Ess

    Answer by Mizz_Ess at 4:33 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • my whole thing is im stayin in i state i dnt want to be in for the sake of my son but his father barley does any thing for him barley takes care of him complains if i ask him to come get him at a certain time so i can get a little me time(by the way i dnt have family here and live alone) hes careless with the things i send with him....i just look at it like this if i do move if he really wants to be in his sons life he will make an effort.....i haven't put him on child support or anything but if hes not stepping up to the plate i can do bad by my damn self..
    Mizz_Ess

    Answer by Mizz_Ess at 4:39 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • If there is no custody agreement you can do whatever you wish. If there is an agreement, then you have to inform dad atleast 60 days before, by certified mail and he can stop you. All primary placement is , is that you have physical custody and decisions must be made jointly. Are you talking SOLE CUSTODY? That is when one parent has all decision making rights and the other parent has visitation, but you still have to inform dad of moving out of state. You should really take to a custody attorney before you do anything.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 7:30 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • do you have sole custody as tyfry7496 stated? we were in almost the same situation,but it had to deal with the bio.mom who lived with parents,etc. we took her to court cuz we wanted to have son at least for the whole week he was in school. it wouldnt have affected him not seeing mom,when he's with her he barely see's her cuz she's out partying and whatnot and he's being raised by her parents on her time.she maybe see's him 1 hour for the whole 3 days he's with her,if not seeing her then she'll "at least call him" for her parenting time. the judge threw out our request because he said who ever the child stays with on the moms parenting time is HER choice no matter if son see's his mom or not and as long as the son is safe then it's ok.But, you cannot move unless you get "permission" if you both share custody. sorry.
    Newborn4me

    Answer by Newborn4me at 3:24 AM on Apr. 18, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.