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Friends with different political views...

I'm having an issue with a friend...she's been a good friend for, sheesh, 20 years now...when we were teenagers nothing mattered, but we're not anymore and now her political views are the polar opposite of mine. For years we both silently agreed not to discuss politics or religion and that was fine and it worked, but now I feel like its a pink elephant in the room and I'm wondering, can friendships last when you don't agree on politics or religion? How can you be friends with someone who so strongly disagrees with things you so strongly believe?

 
gramsmom

Asked by gramsmom at 2:34 PM on Apr. 16, 2009 in Politics & Current Events

Level 22 (13,423 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (26)
  • I have not read any of the replies, sorry. But I have had a similar problem. A really good friend and I never saw eye to eye on politic but we just did not discuss it. We did not try to convert each other. We were simply silent on political issues. We had a great friendship. But after this past election, she would not talk to me. After 2 weeks after the election (I had called her a few times and emailed) she called me. One of the first things out of her mouth was "I guess YOUR happy with how the election turned out. Now your N- - - - - can destroy this country." I had never heard her say the N word before (and we'd been friends for years). I told her I didn't appreciate the language. That I voted for who I thought was best for the job and that if she couldn't respect my views (as I had respected her's) and continue our friendship without politics, then I could no longer be her friend. Haven't heard from her since.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:15 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • We're all Republicans, good luck with that one, I can only imagine. Try and reform her!!
    akinbottom2

    Answer by akinbottom2 at 2:35 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • I have plenty of liberal friends.. I just REFUSE to bring up politics around them and if they bring it up around me, I refuse to talk about it. Im not going to let our differences between who we voted for or how we feel on a subject put a rift in our friendship. I just remind myself that people have minds of their own, and have their own opinions just as I do. No one has to agree with me to make me feel validated.

    BEXi

    Answer by BEXi at 2:37 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • You just have to keep those things separate and respect each other. Respect is what many people are lacking anymore.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:37 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • I understand what you're saying, but what is our friendship based on if our core beliefs are so polar opposite? I mean, we can "make nice" but is that true friendship?
    gramsmom

    Answer by gramsmom at 2:39 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • "I understand what you're saying, but what is our friendship based on if our core beliefs are so polar opposite? I mean, we can "make nice" but is that true friendship?"


      I am sorry I cant answer this from experience, but what I can tell you is that it takes two to make the friendship work and agree to disagree.

    BEXi

    Answer by BEXi at 2:42 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • I love Obama and my mother doesn't really have anything nice to say about him so we just don't talk about it, otherwise , all my real friends agree with me. l.o.l.
    writeon

    Answer by writeon at 2:42 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • Find one political topic the two of you both agree on, and go slowly from there. Try taxation--everybody hates high taxes. Your friendship has gone stale, you need to work to put the spark and fun back into it. Sadly, sometimes in life two people who have been close for many years come to a fork in the road and must go their separate ways. I hope this is not happening to you and your friend, but it may be the parting of the ways for the two of you. Not ending the friendship, just drifting further apart, and not culminating with a bang, but with a whimper.
    pagan_mama

    Answer by pagan_mama at 2:46 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • You can still be close friends. Just like in a marriage, sometimes two spouses have different views and have to just agree to disagree, and not discuss those particular topics. Granted, most people marry someone they have very similar views to, but often there will be at least one issue that they just can't agree on. So they simply never discuss it. Same thing here. You both know you don't agree. So don't discuss it. There are so many other things you can talk about and do together that have nothing to do with politics, and politics shouldn't be so important in your life that it could make or break a friendship. A marriage, maybe, but not a friendship.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 2:49 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • I have a few friends who are Conservatives. It's about respect. We can have discussions and disagree but we respect each others views, even if we don't always understand them.

    Friday

    Answer by Friday at 2:49 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

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