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I thought it was suppose to get better?

I've always heard the older and wiser you become that you two (in a marriage) will be more understanding, and feel as "one" more than you did before. Going on 3 years now, and I have never been so disrespected in the past like I am now. He has seemed to get worse as time goes by, but has especially shown a big difference in the last 9 months or so. He called me a dumb ass last night, and told me he didn't love me and was leaving. He's been threatening to leave a lot lately, and sometimes he does, but comes back a day or two later. He told me he didn't care about me, and when I ask him about why he treats me like that, but doesn't treat his family like me, he always says something like "f*** no, I ain't' going to." He's told me he doesn't like my body, and told me what he didn't like about it. I asked him if he just right out thought I was worthless, and he said yes.
cont.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:16 PM on Apr. 16, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • I agree with Gypsy98. This situation is only going to get worse, and it's easy to see that your self-esteem is already trashed.

    What you are going through is called emotional abuse, and it's WRONG. This is justification for leaving HIM, and you would be well advised to do so.

    PM me if you need support. I too was in an emotionally abusive marriage once, but I got out.
    rhope4

    Answer by rhope4 at 5:34 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • He makes comments about leaving me if I bring up something I don't feel is right for him to do. He blames me for everything, even though it's not my fault.
    He is a compulsive liar, and I don't understand why he has became so mean these last 9 months. He's never been this mean. He calls me a bitch now, and he screams at me. He's not cheating, I know, but wth is he acting this bad?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:19 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • Grab the kid(s) that you gave birth to, pack your bags and walk...this is going to escalate into violent behavior...

    Better yet...buy new locks for the doors. The next time he leaves, change all the outside access doors. If you have a garage that has access to the house, put/change the lock on that door too, so he can't get in from there.
    Gypsy98

    Answer by Gypsy98 at 5:30 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • he sounds immature to me. you need to stand up for yourself & you 2 really need to sit down & talk.
    i was married for 23 years until my husband died in my arms last july. we were together every day of those 23 years. we talked about everything.
    i was 19 when i married him & he was 25. we only knew eachother for 6 weeks before we got married.
    we had our fights but never went to bed angry. we never called each other hurtful names. i'd call him a jackass or he'd call me a jackass but NEVER nothing mean or hurtful.
    you either need to get some help with your marriage or get rid of the problem.
    justjacki

    Answer by justjacki at 5:34 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • i think he did something very bad and needs to take it out on someone that will take it. and you will. if thats not it, dont be with someone like that. you are never going to get out of the relationship until you respect yourself and if you have children, get out for them, if you cant do it for you. you wont regret leaving after you realize it was for the best. im a theropist and i cant tell you what to do but i can help you see there is always a way out. if your scared to get out, get help. there is always something you can do. go to the court and let them knoe how he treats you, you can get paper to keep him away. and you need to stop caring about him, that might be whats holding you back. you deserve better. apply for an attorney. or feel out divorce papers if your married online, its cheaper. there is a ot they can do for you. good luck. the sooner the better. take some advice, because yours isnt doing you so good. w/love
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:39 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • I was in an abusive relationship for almost 6 years and I know that when he was being particularly mean, it was because he was cheating on me. Don't be so quick to rule that out because if he can treat you that badly and not care, he is willing to do anything to hurt you. You need to leave no matter how hard it is because it never will get better, only worse. I know from experience. You kids do not need to be around that and neither do you!! My name is sweetsarah303 if you have anymore questions.
    sweetsarah303

    Answer by sweetsarah303 at 5:58 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • I know he's not cheating because he's been at home with me all day, every day with me. Besides the times he left, and I knew exactly where he was, and who he was with. Believe me, I don't rule that out. I have no trust in him, and I do keep a very close eye on him. Though I know he hasn't cheated, I have thought many times, that with the way he treats me, he will end up doing it one day. Thank you for your help ladies.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:23 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • YEA BUT U STILL DONT KNOW FOR SURE...
    HE MIGHT BE TALKING TO U ON THE PHONE OR TEXTIN U OR WHAT NOT.
    AND STILL HAVE HIS MISTRESS RIGHT THERE!!

    WHY ARE U WITH A MAN THATS MISTREATING U AND BRINGING YOU DOWN??
    IF HE TELLS U HE IS GOIN TO LEVE TELL HIM HE KNOWS WHERE THE DOOR IS COME ON YOU DONT HAVE TO TAKE IT FROM HIM. WELL R U GUYS HAVIN SEX? IF U GUYS ARE THEN ASK HIM WHY IS HE HAVIN SEX WITH U WHEN HE DONT FINDS U ATTRACTIVE!!
    ALEENAzMOMMY09

    Answer by ALEENAzMOMMY09 at 6:37 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • Some people never grow up. None the less, if you want to salvage your marriage - I would recommend you watch the movie "Fireproof" together,as a start.

    MamaDiane

    Answer by MamaDiane at 7:02 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • Most men that abuse their wives do it because they are insecure in their relationships. Why would you EVER allow a man that is supposed to love you to talk to you that way? find someplace to go with your kids and leave. It will only get worse,physical abuse will be next. You must have respect for yourself,because apparently he has NONE for you. Please dont assume you can salvage a marriage with a man that isnt willing to change.
    guardmp_MOM

    Answer by guardmp_MOM at 7:25 PM on Apr. 16, 2009