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My boyfriend doesnt want his ex to know that we are getting married and that I am living with him. They have a baby together and I am also expecting. I want the kids to get along and grow up together but I dont know how to explain this to him. any advice?

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Asked by Anonymous at 7:54 PM on Apr. 16, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (19)
  • Did he tell you why he doesn't want her to know. Love should be unconditional and it seems like some of your conditions ain't hitting it. Sit down and analyze a couple of things about your relationship because I'm sorry boo, why the hell is he hiding the most important thing that is about occur in your lives.

    Answer by diamondmamma at 7:57 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • Why doesn't he want her to know? What difference does it make?

    Answer by EireLass at 7:59 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • He is still hooking up with her. I would call her and talk to her.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:00 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • She knows that I am pregnant and she knows who I am because of some of his friends, so she hates me. She thinks that I am trying to take him away from seeing his son and its not like that. He says he doesnt want her to know anything because its not any of her business and because she is dramatic and will start problems with him like putting him on child support and trying to take full custody of the baby.

    Answer by new_mommy0430 at 8:02 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • I am with everyone else on this one....why doesnt he want her to know? Has he given you a reason? Honestly it sounds a little odd to me, I mean if you guys are getting married and living together AND having a baby together, then whats the big deal about his ex finding out?

    Answer by hautemama83 at 8:03 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • There should be no reason why you have to hide your upcoming marriage to him. That is just not right. And, regardless of whether or not he marries you and you have 10 kids, he should pay child support and be a father and a daddy to this other child. Being with you does not eliminate the obligation he has to this other child. If he feels he should not support this kid or be a part of its life that is too bad. He should have thought of that before he had sex. With either of you. Good luck.

    Answer by foreverb3 at 8:05 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • I KNEW I KNEW IT I KNEW IT!!! I was going to mention about the childsupport and drama. The part about it isn't any of her business he doesn't mean that. He don't want that gal to know to save his own ass. I don't know what to tell you in this situation. I mean she wants her cake and eat it too. I bet you she is dating other men. Damn she has more control over your relationship then you do. He can always go to court for joint custody and what the hell is wrong with paying child support? You think he's gonna tell you why he really doesn't want her to know. He wants his cake and to eat it too.

    Answer by diamondmamma at 8:08 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • So then she obviously knows you guys are together, and that you all are having a baby together, so then who cares if she knows anything else, really she is not part of his life anymore so its not her business, my DF is the same way with his ex who he also has children with, he did tell her though when we moved in together, and that exactly when she flipped and ran down to child support services, even though he was already giving her money she just did it to try and get him back. Anyhow as far as wanting the kids to get alonog and have a relationship you need to just tell him how you feel about it, and that you want your child to have a relationship with their sibling.

    Answer by hautemama83 at 8:09 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • She has no reason to hate you, she just seems like a jealous B if you know what I mean. He should be looking out for his childrens best interest and thats making sure all the parents get along for the childrens sake! You should all sit down like adults and talk about it, if you dont it will effect you and your children and thats not fair to the kids. And some of what he does is her business because he is her baby daddy and what he does effects his child therefore effects her. I hope she can be an adult about it and you can work things out and play nice with one another.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:12 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • I guess he doesnt want to go through all the court stuff. He does already give her money and buys things for the baby and he goes to see the baby a couple times a week but he doesnt believe she will use the child support money only for the baby. He thinks she will use it for her stuff since she doesnt work.

    Answer by new_mommy0430 at 8:15 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

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