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how to handle a custody battle?

i have a two almost three year old daughter whose biological dad left when she was 2 months old and now he wants to be part of her life i have lived in oregon.. and we moved back here last nov. and he served me custody papers wanting joint custody of her... she does not know him at all and he sexually abused me and verbally and pysically.. i dont want her anywhere around him i have court may 6th what should i do? or how do i handle this.. and any advice on how to make it to where he has nothing to do with her

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Asked by lexikysmom at 8:28 PM on Apr. 16, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (12)
  • My advice is to get a lawyer to handle this for you, and for at least the first 6 months insist on supervised visits (with you as the supervisor) since she does not know him.

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 8:29 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • did you report it when he abused you ? and pysically ??

    Answer by nakita72 at 8:30 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • Oh my gosh. Do you hve proof of his abuse. Because you should definitely bring that up in court.
    ... I dont know much about custody battles, but... My ex got full custody of his little girl, and hes got a criminal record. Which is odd to me.

    They should definitely say no to him if you can prove what he did

    Answer by Ashleigh_17 at 8:31 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • bring up the abuse
    they will not say he cant see her at all (sorry)
    but push for supervised visits

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 8:34 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • Get an attorney. Do you have proof of all the abuse? I would push for supervised visits. Good luck!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:02 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • If he did as you say, there's no way he's going to get joint custody...hell no! Push for supervised visitation...

    Answer by Fallaya at 10:46 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • If their is no proof of abusie then the courts will award him visitiation, and many states are granting joint custody, they will just leave you as the primary care giver. He'll get ever other weekend and every wednesday seems to be the norm these days. The burden of abusie is on you, so if you don't have any and all it is is your word against his, they will give him his parental rights. I know it sucks but thats just they way the courts work. He will probaly als agrue that you took the child away from him when you moved, in which case they might grant him even more visitation with the child to make up for lost time. He might not be the greatest man, but talk with him, tell him you would like to make the visitation thing work, see about joining them for the visitation. Remember, friends close, enemies closer! So if that means playing nice for a bit, then bite the bullet and play nice.

    Answer by Vanessannd at 12:27 AM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • okay thanks everyone and let me add in we moved together and were together up to oregon he was the one who choose to leave i didnt leave him...

    Answer by lexikysmom at 12:33 AM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • Do you have proof of the abuse? Police reports or hospital reports on the abuse, if so I believe u will win full custody, and you should try 2 make him pay child support.
    My parents got divorced when I was 9 months I lived with my mom and visited my dad every other weekend he would hit me to the point of leaving bruises and welts on my body my mother always tryed to make me report it but I was young and a childs thinking is simply that's my dad and u hope that he'll stop someday and just love u, but it never stopped. And bcuz I never reported it nothing happened, but my mom always took pictures of every bruise and welt that he gave me building up evidence for the day that I actually decided 2 press charges against him

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:24 AM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • (Anon 10:24pm pt cont.)
    so my advice 2 u is this, if he does end up getting joint custody, everytime your child comes back 2 u from a visit check over your childs body and if there's marks ask how they got it take pictures and keep a seperate photo album for that, date the photo and write on the back of it what ur child told u about how they got it and once you have enough evidence take his ass 2 court and make it so he can't see ur child again, gl

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:28 AM on Apr. 17, 2009

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