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Should I be pissed?

My dad said I "minimized my relationship by getting married by the justice of the peace". Like my marriage is a joke since I didn't do the whole wedding thing. Keep in mind he hates my husband and wants up to divorce even though there are little kids in our marriage. My husband is not the same kind of thinker as my dad and they clash BADLY. My brother did the same justice of the peace thing for insurance reasons, but plans to do a big "wedding" in a couple of years, and my dad loves his wife so it is okay. I feel really hurt by the comment. How should I respond to a comment like this?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:48 PM on Apr. 16, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • It's obviously not about the wedding, its about the groom. Not sure there is anything you can say. Just live your life with your husband. Hope that one day your dad comes around but be patient.
    MamaChamp

    Answer by MamaChamp at 9:01 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • i would agree with mamachamp. you got married before god that's all that matters.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 9:21 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • Um tell him to shut his pie hole. It is your marriage not his so he should shut up and if he really loved you unconditionally as a parent should, he would be happy you are happy.
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 9:31 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • I would tell him respectfully it was none of his business. Where you get married doesn't "diminish" anything. I got married in a court house with just my husband and I there, then had a wedding later. Quite honestly, having that intimate ceremony with just us and the JOP made our marriage that much sweeter.
    abbynzachsmommy

    Answer by abbynzachsmommy at 9:34 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • I agree with the rest. This is YOUR life. He has to respect it or stay out of it.
    babycakes254

    Answer by babycakes254 at 9:43 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • Also we got married at the JOP, not because we were poor and couldn't afford it, but because I saw what my sister went through with her wedding and all, I DID NOT want to go through that. I'm not big on ceremonies anyway. A big frilly wedding doesn't make your marraige better..not by a long shot. Just money wasted that you could've saved up for the divorce lol.
    babycakes254

    Answer by babycakes254 at 9:44 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • This reminds me. My hubby and I were married by the JP. One of my sisters and her hubby and kids were there, so were both of our parents. The JP asked who wanted to speak for us, my dad said the moms should, they raised us right. My sister mummled that if we were raised right, we would be getting married in a church. This was Dec of 1995. We are happier then ever. My sister on the other hand, has been divorced for many years now. It doesn't matter where you are married. Hell, I met my hubby at a bar, and we got married 2 1/2 months later. In 1995. I don't know what you should say to your dad. I'd blow up after a while over it. I guess you can tell him that if he can't respect YOU enough, then he should keep his big mouth shut. Would he really feel good about himself if HE was to cause your marriage to end?
    Buffie95

    Answer by Buffie95 at 10:13 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • I was also married by the justice of the peace. I don't see anything wrong with that. We had a lovely wedding night and a nice after marriage party. i think your dad just wants to be hurtful because he doesn't like your man.
    mamofive

    Answer by mamofive at 10:16 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • I would say "how does one minimize love?" Your dad seems like a controlling guy who just wants you to do things his way. You did the right thing. Those big weddings can be such a waste of money and when you can use all that money on something more practical (like a home!) it makes sense to go to a JOP.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:17 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • You could let him know you'd be happy to accept his offer to maximize your relationship with a "real" wedding. That ought to shut him up.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 10:19 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

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