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my husband is coming home after four months in quater how should i react

my husband and me have been havin g alot of problem which began before he left... it just increased alot over the last four months.... he didn't even write a birthday card for our daughters birthday... anyways after fighting about that and more... we finally came to our senses and we are trying to work on things but i just don't know how i should react when he comes home because i don't want him to think i'm being nice all our problems are gone but i also don't want to bring up everything right away

 
cindythemom

Asked by cindythemom at 11:16 PM on Apr. 16, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (6)
  • Even though the military members that have a tour to Qutar consider it to be a 'cupcake deployment' compared to the likes of those to Camp Bucca & Baghdad there are still some serious security issues that they face.
    Welcome him home, show him that you do still love him, that you have missed him and make sure that you two set a time where you can sit down calmly and discuss the issues that you're facing.
    Every time my husband deployed (Egypt, Bucca, Japan, Qutar) we always seemed to struggle more because of trust issues and what not. It helps to try to have an open mind (from both people).
    Just make sure that he knows you love him.
    prettylilrae

    Answer by prettylilrae at 12:52 AM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • Hug and Kiss him, and be glad he is finally home with you and your child/ren. Post pone the problems talk for a few days after his arrival. Hope that it all works out for you!!
    pamelajqs

    Answer by pamelajqs at 11:18 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • no offense but not many men write birthday cards to little kids. My kids are in their 30's and their dad never sent them a card for their birthday. He showed up with a cake but most men are not card folks. Any time there is a separation there has to be an adjustment. just go slow and welcome him home and see how it goes.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:29 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • My advice from experience would be that it is far easier to work on and mend a relationship you are already in than it is to break up and start over (assuming you found someone to start over with).

    He's coming home from an extraordinary experience. Greet him with honesty and respect. If you want to hug him, hug him. If not, don't. Don't force anything that you don't truly feel. Have an open mind, too. You never know, you may just feel like jumpin' him right then and there.....and that isn't a bad idea either!
    hilbilimac

    Answer by hilbilimac at 11:38 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • Depends. Are you wanting to improve your marriage or do you want to make him miss being in Quatar? That should answer your question, dear. Good luck.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:45 PM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • My husband has been gone just over a year and now that he is coming hime soon we have started fighting over EVERYTHING! But I know that when we see eachother we will remember that we are WAY more than just a voice over the phone. I also know that the stress of his job over there will be off his shoulders so he wont have to be so tense all the time. We are both also very anxious to see each other and anxiety causes problems.
    Just let it go and take him coming home as a new start. They offer marriage counseling too which can really help couples come together. Dont knock it until you try it.
    Good Luck
    HunnysFarAway

    Answer by HunnysFarAway at 1:29 AM on Apr. 17, 2009