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TO: All moms with a child that has "separation anxiety" PT 1

Well, I have my 1 year old that cries every time I leave him with our main babysitter and even when I just go the bathroom. He even does this with my husband when he leaves to go outside for a smoke or to work.
I have read in a book that the best thing to do for this is give him lots of love and attention before we leave and do our best to assure him that we will be back before he knows it.
Well, my hubbs just got his job and I have been staying at home with him ever since he has been born except for going out on Friday nights and every other week Saturday nights(if I am in the mood for going out still, after Friday). I just don't know what to do! If I stay at home with him 24/7(like some moms) then I would go CRAZY!!!! I give props to those mothers who stay home with their babies 24/7. I don't think I could do it! I've tried it and I take all my tension out on my poor hubbs, who doesn't deserve it and....continued...


Asked by Anonymous at 1:37 AM on Apr. 17, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • I disagree with giving your child all the extra attenion just before you leave. I'd save, give it when you get back. Make leaving a simple, quite ordea -- and consistant. Says your goodbye, give a kiss and go. Don't look back and ignore the crying. He probably doesn't cry for more than a few minutes anyway. Then make it a big reward when you get back. Over time, he will learn to be exicted about leaving b/c he will know you are coming back and htat it'll be even more fun!

    Don't let a crying baby keep you home and add to your stress. If you need to get away for a bit, then do so! :) Hang in there, this stage will pass.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:04 AM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • he does as much as he could do to help raise our son! The next day after lashing out on him, I feel soooo horrible!! The only way I could "release" my tension is to drink and get wasted OR have a few hits of marijuana(which I haven't done in MONTHS now and I never do around my son, don't bash please) However, my husband does go to the bar 2-4 times a week; granted he doesn't get drunk or anything except maybe 2-3 times every other month) I don't know. I think I am just venting right now. I do know I am going to get those marijuana haters bashing on me. I don't mind that, everyone has their own opinion. I on the other hand, really would take weed over beer any time! :)
    ANYWAYS!! Got off track there BIG time!! How do YOU handle separation anxiety with your child? Please, ignore everything else I have said here. If you can't; go right ahead. :)

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:46 AM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • If you hold ur child a lot ur only makin it worse u should just let him cry and check on him every 20min to see if he needs 2 be changed or needs 2 eat u know the basics, if u do hold him lot thwen im sorry to say but you created this problem, my roommate does this and her child crys if someone isn't in the same room with her but she knows not 2 do that around me cuz she knows her crying doesn't work on me, but like I saiod let him cry it out gl

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:48 AM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • Don't leave your child unless you absolutely have to. When my son went through some needy stages, I would never leave him unless I have absolutely no choice. The anxiety lifted very quickly. I would try to give your child that now because he needs you right now. My son now has no problem not being around me and when we drop him off at his grandmother's he is off without even saying goodbye (he is 16 months now).

    You can't give a child too much attention.

    Answer by keyaziz at 7:19 AM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • If you have to leave, make it a quick exit...just like the person above me said.

    I am a SAHM too, and there are times that i HAVE TO have time apart rom my baby! It gets overwheling. I had her father come over yesterday so I could have some "Me Time" for a couple of hours!

    I left the house for about 30 minutes. She cried for a couple of minutes, then settled down to play with daddy...she was just fine...

    Answer by Fallaya at 12:57 PM on Apr. 17, 2009