Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Not sure what I should do about my sister, can someone please help me out here

Okay so my sister called me yesterday afternoon, and told me she is pregnant, and she wants to get an abortion, and how can she go about doing that (I have had it done before and even though it worked out for the best I still do not feel good about doing it), well being that I dont really agree with her wanting to have this done, because I now am against it, so what do I do? I feel like if I support her it goes against my personal beliefs, I tried to explain to her that its not something thats easy to have done and its not as nice and simple as everyone would like to think it is, and she says she just cant have a baby right now, because she is "trying to get her life together", and getr a job and go back to school (she is 20 and stil hasnt gotten her HS diploma), when really think its just because she still wants to party and have fun and "not ruin her body" ----> cont--->

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:48 AM on Apr. 17, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • I would just let her know that you regret having had an abortion in the past and there is no way you can support her in making such a decision, nor could you possibly help her to obtain an abortion.
    dedicatedrider

    Answer by dedicatedrider at 11:56 AM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • Explain to her how your feelings about this. If you are now against abortions. Tell her you will not help her get one. Simple as that.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 11:52 AM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • It is her choice, support her or not, but it isn't your decision to make.
    Marwill

    Answer by Marwill at 11:52 AM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • I tried to explain to her that there is alway adoption, but her response was "I cant have a baby then give it away and never know where its at", She is pretty much already dead set on just getting rid of it instead of listening to all of her options. She wont tell anyone else, but I kinda feel like I should tell our mom so that she can talk to her about this, but she did ask me to not tell anyone and I know if I tell mom she probably wont tell me anything ever again, so then what do I do? How can I not look at her differently if she has this done how can I explain to her that this is just wrong and there ARE other options? BTW this is not meant for debate on abortion, or ow she should have kept her legs closed (because well I already know that) I am just looking for some sort of advice on what I should do
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:53 AM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • I would tell her that she's on her own and you won't help her or support her in this decision. I would not be able to look at my sister if she did something like that. That is your niece or nephew that she is considering terminating.
    kemclaughlin

    Answer by kemclaughlin at 11:55 AM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • hard situation! it's ok if you're against it, but support her because she's your sister. and it's not necessarily a matter supporting the choice of abortion, but the emotional support she needs in this tough decision. you did a good thing letting her know "it isnt that easy", instead of saying "abortion is wrong, you're terrible" ya know?! if she does decide to have an abortion, bite your tongue and let her know you love her unconditionally.
    Owl_Feather

    Answer by Owl_Feather at 11:59 AM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • I feel your pain. I would make clear what I feel on the topic. In the end she will do what she wants. Be there for her. You will know first hand the pain and regret she will go through. Don't say I told you so. Just be there when she will need to cry or talk. You don't have to say anthing to her, she will already know how you feel and unfortanetly will then know how right you where. Good luck.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:00 PM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • if you just cant bite your tongue, let her know you wish you didnt have one or explain how you felt afterwards, but dont make it seem like she's a bad person for doing it, or thinking about it. it might be different and easier to react negatively to a stranger, but she is your sister!
    Owl_Feather

    Answer by Owl_Feather at 12:02 PM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • It's not up to you to make the decision for her. She has to do that for herself. Just let her know that you do not agree with it, but will be there for her no matter what. Don't be judgmental. She will only push you away. She's NOT a horrible person for what she chooses. Did it make you a bad person? It's a legal procedure, whether you agree with it or not. Let her make HER decision, and continue to love her unconditionally.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:25 PM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • The only thing you can do is tell her your story even the painful stuff, and be there for her. It is a choice and you can just be there for her. If she goes through this she is going to need you there. If after hearing exactly what you went through she may change her mind. Just let her know that abortion is not the only road she can take there is adoption. see if she would be willing to let some family who is unable to have life have hers. good luck and I hope it all works for the best.
    lovemybaby283

    Answer by lovemybaby283 at 12:26 PM on Apr. 17, 2009

close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN