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My 21-month old talks back. HELP!

Everytime I take something (that is not a toy) away from son, discipline him or even tell him to put something back he tells me to "stop it" or says "no". I've tried sitting down and talking to him but that conversation seems to go south everytime. I try not to yell at him because I don't believe that it will help the situation. Any help would be WONDERFUL!!!

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Asked by miya07 at 12:47 PM on Apr. 17, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 1 (2 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • Do you explain why you are taking the toy? I would engage a conversation over it that gives the child options. "Either you go to bed for a while or you help put these toys up" Or do things that puts the responsibility on the child like "It would be a big help if you put that spoon in the sink" Give the child a chance to be compliant with leading language. If it "goes south" then go there. Don't be afraid to hold your ground. That's sorta what they do at this age. They will push and push and push just to be reminded repeatedly that the same boundaries are still there. Also, when you say "goes south" exactly how so? Because that may be where some action is needed... Not in what you are asking but in how you handle the retaliation kwim?  Most of all, just don't think you are crazy :)  You are prefectly sane.  Your lo is just learning how to be a big one... it's a bumpy road at times :P


    Answer by CooksWife at 1:06 PM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • Well I do explain to him why he can't have the object and give him suggestions like "Why don't you go play with you building blocks or your computer" Some days he walks away without a fight and others he starts screaming and talking back... of coarse and throws himself on the floor in a complete meltdown. He's great big-little helper when comes to anything and very eager to help clean up, he follows directions very well, but when it seems as though when it comes to stuff he can't have he freaks out

    Answer by miya07 at 1:23 PM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • That's why you give him two options- one of which he will dislike more than the complaint one, lol. Don't feel bad. Mine does the throw down, hyperventilating ones. He's getting better though... It was ROUGH for 6 months. Now when he flips it is usually over being tired, not being able to communicate something, or not being able to do something himself. All of which I can usually problem solve or talk him through. There is a hard period there where they don't understand that want and need are two different things. The feel want but feel it as strongly as need. It just takes them a while to get that down :)


    Answer by CooksWife at 1:30 PM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • distracting sometimes help me. Like when my DD takes my cell phone, I have to replace it with something she things is more exciting (which isn't much, lol). And most of the time her attention is diverted. If it's not and she throws a fit over it. I give it a minute or two where I just ignore the tantrum, and if she is still cranky, I either rock her (because she's long past nap time) or put her in time out for a few minutes.

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 1:31 PM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • Distraction and redirection are the best things to do at this age. Ignore the tantrums/backtalk when you can (assuming he isn't going to do something to hurt himself). If the tantrums/backtalk get him further attention, it just gets worse. You might also watch to see if there's a pattern to when he accepts vs throws a fit. I've noticed my 2 yr old son is far less likely to have tantrums on days when we can get outside and burn off some energy. When we're stuck inside for whatever reason, his temper flairs far faster.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:21 PM on Apr. 17, 2009

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