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My husband and I just got married in September 08 and we are now expecting in November 09. We were shocked, nervous and excitied at first but now I have started to have feelings that this just is not the right time. I never thought this would even be a consideration, but after weeks of feeling depressed and sick I honestly do not think I can do this. My husband says the choice is up to me but I am so confussed right now. Are these normal feelings or is something wrong with me?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:13 PM on Apr. 17, 2009 in Pregnancy

Answers (7)
  • yes. I got it with my first and now that we are on our second I am still questioning myself. I know I can handle a newborn and a good idea of what to do now, but now its wether or not I can handle two kids! Perfectly normal and it will go away!

    Answer by SabrenaLeigh at 1:15 PM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • i felt that way too, and to be honest my son is a year and i STILL dont know what to do ;]

    Answer by aliciatron at 1:15 PM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • I felt that way with my 5th child. The one you see in the picture. I was scared all the way until she was about 2 months old. Fast forward to now...

    She is so beautiful and precious. There is not a day that goes by that she does not make me smile. I am so glad that she is here, she is mine, and that I can hold her and love her.

    You will see. You will love that baby so much, I promise.

    Answer by bellasrose71008 at 1:23 PM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • It is very common for pregnant mamas to have feelings of doubt, fear, uncertainty, resentment, and outright panic. Feeling elated and confident one day, and overwhelmed and afraid the next is just how it is for many women, and doesn't necessarily mean that there is anything wrong... just knowing that a lot of women, even in very planned, very wanted pregnancies, can have feelings of extreme ambivalence can be helpful for riding it out. The early months can be quite difficult with hormones, nausea and mind-numbing fatigue, and it can feel like it was a mistake to have gotten pregnant! It does get better!

    However: if you have a history of depression, or if your moods are constantly depressed (no periods of optimism and cheerfulness) and this improve by the middle of your pregnancy, you probably want to get evaluated for depression. For now, I would just assume that it is normal and that it will pass, and it will be FINE! (hugs)

    Answer by Collinsky at 1:26 PM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • Its totally normal!! Im terrifyed because I am due on November 16 and the babys father told me that either I get an abortion or he wont be with me. I love this man to the ends of the earth and I would do anything to be with him, but not give up my baby. You might not believe this but God only gives you things in life that he knows that you can handle. He will help you through this. Im only 19 and now single. I have people offering to take my baby and raise it, people are telling me of abortion clinics that will help me and in the end its all up to me. Im scared but I know that I can do it and so can you! Dont give that precious gift away. A baby does change everything but it also makes life so much more enjoyable. look at all of the women on here who are trying to concieve but cant, and you did. thats miracle enough. I promise that it will get easier and you only feel like crap the first 3 months and when the baby is born.

    Answer by Alysia_Moore at 1:41 PM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • When you hold your baby in your arms for the first time, all of the scared feelings will dissapear. God Bless you and I hope that I helped

    Answer by Alysia_Moore at 1:42 PM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • Look, I felt like I had an alien inside me and called my sister weeping with anxiety and panic. I hated being pregnant both times but had good deliveries. Here's the deal, what you're feeling is normal but is your life style ready to have a baby? How old are you? Are you financially secure? Can you have a baby and do other things that you want to do? One thing, you can tote a kid around just about anywhere. We dragged our first born to the Caymans and Europe between 3-8 months to get some travel in before he started walking. One thing with a kid is that you have no freedom unless you have help. If you can get sitters/family support you'll be just fine. If you're doing it without, you'll be tied down. Just some stuff to think of. I waited until 32 to have kids so that I could do what I wanted. That said, I'm an old lady and tired all the time having them older! Good luck!

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 3:04 PM on Apr. 17, 2009

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