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Any advice on being a single and/or teen mom?!

Im 19, single, and about to have my first baby in a few weeks! The father is not involved in our lives (which is for the best). Im nervous about taking on all this responsibility by myself and at a young age.

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Asked by ZekesMommy09 at 1:41 PM on Apr. 17, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

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Answers (10)
  • I had my DD at 16. At the time me and the father (now my husband) weren't together, and he lived in another town, so I did it by myself. I lived at home still, so I had my mom, but I did most everything on my own. You'll make it through, it'll be alright. Just do the best you can and everything will work out!! Good luck!

    Answer by WadeMom313 at 1:49 PM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • Im 19 and pregnant. my babys father told me that I can either abort the baby or he will leave me. I chose my baby. Im terrifyed to do it by myself but I know that I have a good support system from my mom and a few friends. It will be ok sweety. Im not saying it will be easy, but it will be worth it. When you hold your baby for the first time, your heart will melt and you will be in love. Hope I helped a little.

    Answer by Alysia_Moore at 1:51 PM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • I was 19 when I had my son and there wasn't nor has there been a father around. I lived with my mom till I was 30, but, I did everything myself. My mom was also verbally, physically and mentally abusive. I finally got the nerve to leave and I am buying a house and living on my own with my son and very happy. I have him and he has me...although, he is 13 and becomoming very independent and doesn't need momma as much. But, I garantee that if you put your mind to it for your little one, you can and will do it. You can always message me for help or advice. Because i am learning things even today that I wish I knew then.

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 1:58 PM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • I just turned 20 but i had my daughter when i was 19, her father is a pain in the but and lives almost 3 hours from here but me and my daughter have made it just fine. You just have to remember that shes always going to be there no matter what and do the best you can. Shes your best friend from now on and one of the only people on this earth who will love you unconditianally. You'll make it just fine, your a strong indipendent woman and can do anything you put your mind up to!!

    Answer by mamatobe1989 at 2:09 PM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • I was 19 for exactly two days when my first son was born. The first and foremost advice I can give IGNORE ANYONE THAT WILL LOOK DOWN APON YOU OR WILL TRY TO MAKE YOU FEEL BAD about being a single young mom. And CONGRATS!!!!!

    Answer by SlapHappi at 2:15 PM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • I was also 19 when i had my daughter. My husband is in jail so i had to do it by myself also, but it's so true that once you have her in your arms everything changes. You see the world in a different way, and I'm not gonna lie to you but it is hard, you'll find that out on your own, but you gotta be strong for that little one that's counting on you to take care of him/ her. Mine is 6 months and a half so when my husband comes home in 2 months he'll have it easy cause she only wakes up once at night instead of 3-4 like she used to. But it's amazing when you realize how strong you are to be by yourself. And there's girls out there younger than you having babies also. so don't give up and have lots of patience. Good luck!!!!

    Answer by SHY_GIRL89 at 2:48 PM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • I got pregnant with my oldest son when I was 15 I was only one month past 16 when he was born. His father was not involved (also for the best) I lived at my parents house but I did it all on my own and it wasn't always easy but you can do it. Just remember that all your child absolutly needs is a roof over his head, food and water and his mothers love. You will do a wonderful job and the fact that you are on Cafe Mom asking questions shows that you are a smart woman who wants nothing but the best for your child. Just remember that even though his father isn't involved doesn't mean that he won't come back later. That is what my son's father did after he met a girl who said he needs to be involved but they are going about it a really bad way and it is hurting my son. Please either make it legal that he isn't in his life or get him to pay child support. You can do it mommy. Any advice you need just add me as a friend.

    Answer by Julahan at 3:39 PM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • I can't exactly help with the being a single mom but I'm a SAHM and 19 years old my Husband spends most of his time at work so that I can stay at home with our son.. Our son is now 8 months old and this has been the hardest and most rewarding thing I have ever done.. I fully believe age doesnt define you as a mother.. The way you handle motherhood defines you as a mother.. Never forget that is your baby and only you know whats best for them no one else.I learned early on that to survive a lot of times you have to sleep when you baby sleeps and somethings may fall through the cracks but in the end everyone will be happier.So what if you dont have the cleanest house or your bed isnt made that is ok.That baby has a full tummy and a clean butt and is healthy thats all that matters.My son had a rough go at first with a lot of problems and that taught me to never take a day with him for granted...I love being a mom and so will you.

    Answer by TristansMommy16 at 8:33 PM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • I'm a single mom but I'm 23... My sisters were both 18 when they had their first baby and they were both single. It's really hard but you can do it! The best advice I can give you is to take as much help as you can. Don't feel bad for letting people help you otherwise you will go insane if you try and do it all yourself. I enrolled in college and the government pays for it all and all my bills because im a single mom.. I also get a lot of money and stuff from the state because I'm a single mom.. without that I don't think I would survive. If you need any info just email me

    Answer by casper4991 at 11:38 PM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • I am 18 I just had my baby three months ago. I was 17 when I got pregnant and the father wants nothing to do with me or his baby and I agree with what you said, its for the best. I know your situation and its hard very hard. It really is not fair that guys can just puss out and leave the wemon with all responsibility but they do it every day. No boty told me what it was going to be like having a baby, I dont know if you know or not but its so hard, they cry alot you dont get enough sleep, your wourld completely changes. You can get through it though and you will start enjoying your baby more and more every day like I have. Good luck

    Answer by HeidilovesNyla at 8:56 PM on Apr. 18, 2009

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