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Have you ever had a cheater dream?

I had a dream last night that I was at a place w/ DH and there was another woman there. She started coming on to him in a familiar way and I come to find out that he has been cheating with her. I am devastated in my dream and I beat the snot out of her. IRL, DH and I have been having problems and I don't really trust him right now. We have been to therapy, but that seems to be slow going. I was wondering if anyone else had these types of dreams and if they were indicative of problems that you were having at the time IRL?


Asked by Anonymous at 3:05 PM on Apr. 17, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • I have never had those dreams but I have a psychology degree and dreams have been a topic of interest with me. Make sure you bring this dream up with your therapist. Even little things like being able to see the woman's face, what she looked like, what she was wearing, etc. can mean something (not always though). Chances are, the dream is just a representation of your lack of trust with him right now. When things are hard, we tend to trust a little less and lose part of that bond we have with the other person. That's normal when you are going through a rough patch. This dream is totally normal and it doesn't mean your husband is cheating. Bring it up in therapy so you can really work through it. But don't assume it means he is doing something. Your dream was a trip through your subconscious, not his.


    Answer by DDry at 3:16 PM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • i had those types of dreams when DH and i were having problems. he wasn't cheating and never had but i had them, i guess it was my minds way of saying, you gotta problem here fix it! but aside from that the only time i've had those dreams is when he first deploys (maybe one or two nights, hes navy so when he leaves it always pops into my head) and when i was preg w/our daughter, then again i couldn't sleep half the time and "cheaters" the tv show was all that was on at 3 in the morning so i spent alot of nights up watching that

    Answer by vabchmommy at 3:07 PM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • I think if you are already having trouble trusting him, you are dreaming about it because it is on your mind. I don't think it is necesarrily a premonition that he is cheating.

    Answer by musikdoll at 3:08 PM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • it could be your fear of losing him coming out in dream form. it could be that you fear that you are losing him to something else, work, and your dream it is another woman. "just because" you work out your daily frustrations in your dreams, whether you remember them or not. but to answer your question I have had both.

    Answer by JessieK79 at 3:11 PM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • I agree with DDry and atleast she is not one that says everything in a dream is a weird symbol of something. This dream is pretty straightforward. It just sounds like you are worried about the problems you are having and you are trying to get some release through your dreams. Are you in therapy because he cheated? If you are, it may be you are trying to make yourself feel better by beating the other woman. Even if your not, it may be your subconcious' way of dealing with it if you feel like he has cheated.

    Answer by spiritguide_23 at 3:22 PM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • I had one, and I woke up and smacked DH for it! But no, just a dream, no problems in real life.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:29 PM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • He dropped a bomb on me and told me that he isn't happy a few months ago. I since had found out that he was talking to a woman he used to work with, he insists that it was never physical. I know she had some problems (her DH was killed by police and she has a young child to care for on her own). They seemed to talk a lot (which translates to me at very least as an emotional affair). I told him that he needs to completely stop all communication with her, he says he has. I don't see her number anymore on the cell records, but for all I know he see's her everyday. I want to trust him, we have been together for over 10 years. We have two kids together. I think there is a good chance that he is going through some midlife thing. I talk to the therapist about it, she agrees that he is going through something.


    Answer by Anonymous at 4:31 PM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • Things have gotten better since we have been more aware of each other's feelings, but the hurt I feel from his emotional affair is fading very slowly. The only other time I had one of these types of dreams is when he was acting distant before he told me how he felt, so it was indicative of how he was acting towards me. This is why I was surprised to have one of those dreams, since things have been a little better between us.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:38 PM on Apr. 17, 2009