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Is it ok to feel upset and hurt...??

My ex an i was together for 5 years, we last slept together in October. I have now found out that his new GF is 3 months pregnant. i gotta be honest im hurt, as i always wanted kids but he said not till we was married. Im 22 he is 27!! They are even calling it (if its a boy) the names he and i always wanted.....! Am i stupid for being upset and jealous..??

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:23 PM on Apr. 17, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • No. You cant help how you feel and you should never feel bad about it. Just try to work through your feelings and they will pass. Sorry that you are feeling this way...and that would upset me if he used the names you were going to use together.

    Answer by keyaziz at 4:27 PM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • No, it's normal to feel the way you do. You'll go through the pain, but that's part of the healing process. Eventually you won't care anymore.


    Answer by samurai_chica at 4:35 PM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • No, what you are feeling is 100% normal. You need to keep your head held high and get through it. Move on, meet a man that will be better to you than your ex. Good Luck.

    Answer by KlousMomi at 4:39 PM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • i think your feelings are normal. i am going through something similar. my ex husband left me for his 26 yr old assistant. he is going on vacations and they just bought a house with her. pretty much everything he wouldnt do with me. we were married for almost 8 years. so, it is totally normal to feel they way you feel. just do your best to work through them. there is no easy answer or easy way to fix it. i am sorry that you have to go through is a terrible feeling of not being good enough. dont let it get you down. just keep on living your life.

    Answer by JessieK79 at 4:40 PM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • It's okay to feel this way. Our feelings can't be controlled. But try to remember, you don't know the whole story. Maybe it was an accident or maybe she tricked him into getting pregnant. If she's a "new" girlfriend like you say, it's highly unlikely that this was a planned pregnancy. If he's a decent guy, he wouldn't ask her to have an abortion. It sounds like he is just rolling with the punches and trying to "man up" to the situation. That's a good thing. You can't fault him for that. Okay, so he might be using the name you guys picked out. Well, try to take it as a compliment that he liked it so much, he is stick with it. You are 22, you have MANY years to still find a man and start a family with him. Just because your ex is having a baby with another woman doesn't mean you can't move on. You guys broke up for a reason. It's okay to be upset but try to remember, you don't know the whole story.

    Answer by DDry at 4:41 PM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • Thanks... i guess the fact that they havent been together that long and the whole baby name is alot for any brake up!!!

    It hurts coz he has met someone and moved dramaticually on with his life i havent x

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:42 PM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • You are right to feel envious and hurt. Time to take a breath and get your life together without him. That part of your life is over. There are lots of great guys out there who'd like to have a wife and family. Do volunteer work, be active in your religious organization, take classes, join clubs- what are your interests? Develop those. If you stop looking for a relationship and start looking for someone with similar interests, then that is a start. Be strong! You are woman!!! Roar!!!!

    Answer by Bmat at 4:47 PM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • I think your feelings are normal. I know I will feel the same way if my ex and my ex friend have a child together because he just signed away his rights to my daughter :( There is nothing wrong with how you are feeling. You spent a good amount of time with that person so hearing something like this is sort of a blow.

    Answer by BriHan06 at 4:49 PM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • if you don't have children then why are you on cafemom? Not bashing, just wondering

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:50 PM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • No, nothing wrong with feeling that way. It's normal.

    Answer by ColtsFan1912 at 5:06 PM on Apr. 17, 2009

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