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ITS GOING ON FIVE MONTHS I NEED ADVICE?

OK SO I'VE BEEN DATING A GUY FOR 4 1/2 MONTHS NOW. I CARE ABOUT HIM BUT HE'S CONSTANTLY TELLING ME I TALK AND TEXT OTHER GUYS ALL THE TIME. HIS BEST FRIEND TELLS HIM TO EITHER USE ME OR LEAVE ME BECAUSE I'M NOT 100 PERCENT COMMITTED. I HAVENT BEEN WITH ANYONE CONSISTENTLY SINCE MY DAUGHTERS FATHER WHICH WAS 4 YEARS AGO. I FEEL LIKE I'M BEING AS FAITHFUL AS I CAN RIGHT NOW TO HIM. HE TELLS ME HE WANTS TO MARRY ME AND LOVES ME BUT THE PROBLEM IS HOW CAN HE FEEL ALL THAT AFTER ONLY 4 1/2 MONTHS. HE JUST TOLD ME TONIGHT I NEED TO CHANGE AND NOT TALK TO ANY OTHER GUYS AT ALL... ANY ADVICE?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:51 PM on Apr. 17, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • Don't yell when you type!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:52 PM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • Uh he told you he wants to marry you in such a short period of time because he thinks if he tells you that maybe you will be more committed and stop chatting with other guys. HE'S GOOOOOOOOOOD!!
    diamondmamma

    Answer by diamondmamma at 7:55 PM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • yeah I have lots! either you commit fully to this guy and leave! Its not fair for you to drag him through the mud and expect him to accept that.
    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 7:56 PM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • or leave not and
    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 7:57 PM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • I think that after that short of a pierod of time it is a sign of him being controling. sorry but, i would leave

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:58 PM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • Me and my husband got engaged after only a month, but he didn't tell me to not stop talking to other men, he is not a jealous man, and we are on our 10 year anniversary next month. Advice I would give is to probably break up, or just take a time away from him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:01 PM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • There are so many red flags going up that it's scary. First off, if he wants you to change...that's a problem. You shouldn't have to change if he loves you. Next, he's rushing it which sort of validates my theory that he is a control freak and you may possibly regret ever meeting him. Tell him he's moving too fast for you. Some men try to sweep us off our feet then take everything we have including our money and self esteem and then dump us. Some just want a puppet to control. It sounds like you really should take this slow and don't give up talking to other men. Find some one who loves you the way you are.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:01 PM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • Come on guys... Not all man are like that and you only seeing one side of the story... and most people sugar coat theirs so they don't look like jackasses.... My husband asked me to marry him after dating for 3 months... I was thrilled that he did... We are still married to day going on 10 years..... Perhaps you are talking to other guys way to much... Take a step back and see if he has ground sat all for even saying that... but also let him know that you can talk to the male species.... Most guys aren't emotional like that when it comes to relationships.... Ask yourself if you not wanting to get married has anything to do with your last relationship.
    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 8:02 PM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • DUMP him!! He sounds like a control freak that doesn't realize that you aren't an exclusive couple.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:52 PM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • Lots of danger signs... you need to change, he wants to marry you after a short time (which wouldn't necessarily be a problem - sometimes you do just know) but only if you comply with certain conditions. The controlling and jealousy and immaturity letting his friends decide. If I were you I would let it go and follow your instincts before you get too attached. One thing I have learned is that those things that my gut told me and I ignored ended up being major problems in the relationship and ultimately ended it. So you can try to convince him and lose yourself and end it after lots of drama, or you can just cut him loose now. When you are ready, you will know, and when you meet the one you want to commit to, you won't have to ask the questions.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 9:10 PM on Apr. 17, 2009

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