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Discipline: How do you get your child to listen and behave?

Any advice for positive discipline? Finding I am repeating myself, yelling, and often losing my temper lately.
Only positive replies please! Thanks for your help/advice.

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2coolmama

Asked by 2coolmama at 10:40 PM on Apr. 17, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Consistency, patience lots of it and unconditional love, no matter what he does or doesn't do, keep loving your child and doing what is in his/her best interest with the understanding that this is a phase, your child will outgrow it and become that sweet nice person you want to raise. The more calm and assertive you are the more cooperation you'll get.

    Whomever said their kid never had a hard day, drove you nuts or make you take a deep breath to control your frustration, is either too old to remember or a bad liar. hang in there mama, this too shall pass.
    bebita

    Answer by bebita at 10:51 PM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • Some other options are practicing (for instance, if my son runs in the house, I'll have him walk back to the starting point and walk the same route again); rehearsals (for an upcoming situation); role-playing (let them be the parent and you be the kid); praising the good/positive behaviors whenever "caught" in the act; never criticize a child publicly; speaking respectfully to them and have them practice the same back to you; repeating requests ("Please tell me what I just said") and always practicing what you preach (i.e. modeling the positive behavior).
    JPsMommy605

    Answer by JPsMommy605 at 11:00 PM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • I'm pretty stern and tried to get them to learn good behavior early on but to maintain it, I get to their level, calmly explain why their behavior is unacceptable and what behavior I would appreciate and WHY (this instead of screaming NO). I do this because kids understand way more than we give them credit for. Learning this now, helps avoid bad patterns for kindergarten and places where they'll just fall behind because the teachers don't have time to deal with them. I also discipline on the spot, in public and don't worry about other people around me. Rarely, I have had to swat their hand or bum. I've also walked out of restaurants and driven right home....talk about driving a point home! Good luck, some of it is a phase, some of it is manipulation for now and the future.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 11:15 PM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • I am guessing you want her to lose weight: Try healthy food choices for each meal: Cereal, yogurt, oatmeal, an egg, peanut butter toast for breakfast with milk and a fruit. For lunch try turkey slices or a turkey sandwich with cheese, low fat cottage cheese, (a protein (turkey, chicken, eggs, fish), carrot sticks or some other vegetable she'll eat and a few low carb crackers with low fat milk. For dinner; pick a protein (chicken-not breaded, fish, beef, turkey, etc), add a vegetable she'll eat, brown and white rice mixed and fruit for a snack or dessert. Let her snack on celery with peanut butter or apple slices with peanut butter and milk.

    Also, get her out to walk, if even just around the block. Good luck.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 11:23 PM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • I'm sorry but where did the loose weight part come into play? I'm might be missing something here.
    As far as me and my 4 yr old son...well I take him by the arm(not harsh) and tell him what i expect and let him know what will happen if he doesn't listen...If he chooses not to listen he gets his consquences.
    EX: he is climbing onto the counter to dig for cookies..I tell him no get down
    then i tell him get down or he will go sit on his bed
    he doesn't get down
    screams he hates me as I put him on his bed
    5 minutes later he comes out a new person
    respect is taught
    you teach them to respect you by being firm in your rules not wishy washy...
    once your kids know your rules and what you expect they will follow
    set the example
    good luck!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:14 AM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • I observe this when I see it haapen when I am in public and though I dont know your parenting style this is what I see: The child is either getting babied while acting out or they are getting spanked/yelled at. An example: child wants a toy. Mom says "no." Child askes again with attitude mom says no. So child throws a fit kicking, screaming, and yelling. Mom says "well, alright!" Grabs it off shelf and hands to child. On the completely opposite end of the spectrum (same scenario) tells child "no." when child asks again, mom starts to get impatient, putting her index finger in his face and says "I swear if you ask again..." The 3rd time child asks mom picks up child and spanks him while yelling. Consistancy is key. You put child in time out once for something you have to do it every time. You just have to be firm and meet in the middle with your child. Dont be the mom that gives in and dont be the one yelling all of the time.
    LovinEveryDay

    Answer by LovinEveryDay at 3:43 PM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • Yes, ALL kids need to be yelled at one point or another, but children THRIVE on attention and if negative is the only kind of attention they get they will continue to misbehave. Same with the child that gets his/her way. If you always give in of course they will push. Positive reinforcement when they do good things is key. Even if it is something silly like when they say "mommy, watch this!" Or when they take initiative to open the door for you or try and help...even if they only think they are helping and really just getting in the way. Tell them how proud you are of them and remind them they are awesome kids. That will make them want to behave good to get positive attention. Like I said though, I dont know your situation....thats just what I see...
    LovinEveryDay

    Answer by LovinEveryDay at 3:48 PM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • I think eye contact makes a big difference with this age. And consistant consiquences. I did timeouts with my son, and with my 2 1/2 yr. old daughter. Some kids may do better with losing a privalege. You throw the toy, I take it and put it on top of the refrigerator, you don't get it back until tomorrow. Also, the redo thing, I do that too. they slam a door, or scream at me, they have to try again, the right way. And maybe try saying, STOP! clear and strong, "We don't ...... we ........ instead" And high fives and praise when they do it the right way. When they do ANYTHING the right way I like to make a big deal out of it.
    Clarkebar2

    Answer by Clarkebar2 at 7:51 PM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • Be pro-active. Talk to a child in advance (going to a restaurant/going to grocery store etc.) and tell them what you expect their behavior to be. Let him/her know what is going to happen if that behavior doesnt occur and then he/she will have to suffer the consequence of the choice THEY made to not listen or behave appropriately. Remain calm (easier said then done sometimes) and be consistent. Natural consequences for choices they make.  Also read books about appropriate behavior (age appropriate so they can understand).  Education is important.  There are some GREAT discipline books for you and also GREAT books to help your child understand http://www.cjkidz.com/parentsgrandparentsteachers.html  check them out.  Good luck.

    momjs

    Answer by momjs at 1:15 AM on Apr. 19, 2009

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