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Why do some people think that their husbands have to pay for everything and let them be a stay at home mom?

After reading a few posts on here,I have saw that some people feel like this.Why?If you are able to work and your husband asks you to,then why not?

* Note: I have nothing against being a SAHM.There is nothing wrong with it.I just want to know why people think that they are required to be one and get mad if their husbands ask them to get a job to help with bills.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:35 PM on Apr. 17, 2009 in Money & Work

Answers (21)
  • maybe their agreement was she would stay home he would work? i don't know i don't feel my husband owes me anything, i stay home and take care of our daughter b/c its cheaper for me not to work. i would much rather have a career but i can't do that.

    Answer by vabchmommy at 11:36 PM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • One reason I can think of is child care... I mean, not everybody has family or friends to watch the kids while theyre at work (although a schedule could be worked out between the husband and wife so one is always watching the kids), and the cost of daycare is outrageous these days- working would hardly cover the cost of daycare alone!! Some women also dont want anyone "raising" their children, which I can understand.
    That said, Im really thankful to be a SAHM.

    Answer by serioussifL at 11:37 PM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • Because I want to raise my own children. My husband would never ask me to get a job, though. He would pick up another job before he had me work.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:40 PM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • I am going to be a stay at home mom come August. i was one until last August when we needed me to go back to work for awhile. I don't feel as if my husband should pay for everything but honestly that is how he feels. He loves when I am home all day with the kids. I think that it makes him feel like a real man because is solely providing for our family. He fought me so hard about going back to work. But even though he is the main bread winner I pay the bills and knew that I needed to go back to work for awhile. I don't know why some women feel like their husband owe them. If anything I am so grateful toward my husband that he has a job and works hard so that it is possible for me to stay home with the kids.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:42 PM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • I work outside the home, so it is much easier to place a monetary value on my time and energy. A SAHM doesn't have that same benefit, because the value of what she puts into the home is more intrinsic. Perhaps many of the SAHMs who are resistent feel their spouses do not value them unless they are working outside the home? Also, surely there was an agreement before the child was born that the mom would be staying at home with the child while the father worked? Barring emergent circumstances, it seems unfair that all of a sudden the father wants to rescind the agreement.

    Purely speculation on my part. but I can see both sides of the argument. I've only articulated a couple of the arguments for SAHMs.

    Answer by Busimommi at 11:43 PM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • I feel like the decision to be a SAHM to begin with should be discussed by husband and wife. I've been home for the last few months after quitting my job, but I made sure tht he was ok with me not working for a while. He has always been the main provider and he works his butt off to provide for us but I don't feel like he owes me anything. The only reason he has ever wanted me to go back to work is because he knows that I enjoy working and I get bored at home (son is in daycare). I thank him for giving me the opportunity to be a SAHM.

    Answer by Mommy0425 at 12:15 AM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • If me getting a job right now would in fact help out, then I would do whats best to help support our family. But in my case as well as others, we are home because our situation allows us to. My hubby knows that it's best financially and emotionally for our family for me to stay home. But the minute that changes, yes I will do my part again in helping our family.

    Answer by Mom2Rylin at 12:27 AM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • I don't know. I kinda wish I had known about this entitlement to stay at home attitude a long ass time ago. I would have just flat out refused to work. Sure would have made things easier on me. I never realized it was an option, lol.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:00 AM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • I could work or not thats my choice! My dh is a believer of the man should support his family. However I can get a job and he is happy either way but childcare costs money so for now I will wait then go back to school and do what I love for a career.


    Answer by momavanessa at 2:10 AM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • If you can stay at home with your child, instead of having your baby go to daycare or have someone else babysit , why wouldn't you? Why spend the money on someone else if you are able to care for your own child? Why is it considered an entitlement to want to stay home and raise your own child? I just don't get that. You share responsibilty. He works, you work, you both work. He gets paid you don't. If you are taking care of your home and your familiy it is work! You make sacrifices, financially for sure. I understand that some Moms have no other option, and you do what you have to, but given an option (financially daycare, babysitter etc.) that you could make it work, my God why not be home and be proud of it.

    Answer by SonjaSC at 2:15 AM on Apr. 18, 2009

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