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Did you have to go to your first ultrasound alone?

I have an ultrasound scheduled next week. I will be 6 weeks. I started spotting so they just want make sure of the placement. Anyway, my huband is a full-time student and this is a crazy time since it is the end of the semester. I scheduled my appointment for early in the morning, an hour and a half before his class starts. He explained that he could probably go but if it runs late that he will have to leave so he can get to class on time. He also added, "you can't really see much yet, can you?" I understand that there are some classes that can't be missed but I'm really upset that I have to go alone and it shouldn't matter "how much" you can see. I'm just wondering if I'm being unreasonable or if it is common for dads to miss the ultrasound. Any thoughts would be appreciated.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:37 PM on Apr. 17, 2009 in Pregnancy

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • You aren't being unreasonable but you have to understand that men view things a lot differently than we do. They're excited about the baby in their own ways but don't necessarily have the intimate bond with the baby like we do. My husband went to all but the gender ultrasound (which was short notice. I was spotting and went in at 18 weeks instead of at 20 and they told me the gender right there. He couldn't go because it was unplanned and he was already at work). Men do not always know how to react to our emotional needs and can't always place how to feel emotionally towards the baby. Our hormones tell us how to feel; for men, it can be awkward. Just be patient with him. Explain to him that he's going to support you and to see the baby for the first time. He'll get it and once he hears the heartbeat, he'll understand and be glad he was there :-)
    NovemberLove

    Answer by NovemberLove at 1:26 AM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • my DH came to all my ultrasounds, you can't see much but seeing it on the screen is a lot diff than a pic. add to that that the first ultrasound i had in my second pregnancy (first one was a m/c) they didn't find a heartbeat, so i wouldn't go to them alone they scared me too much
    vabchmommy

    Answer by vabchmommy at 11:41 PM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • I wanted my husband with me for all appointments and he was there for 99% of mine. You're not being unreasonable, especially since there is concern because of the bleeding. I would talk to him and just tell him that you need him there for emotional support more than anything. The 1st ultrasound is also a big thing that, in my opinion, should be viewed by both parents... It's technically the 1st time you get to see your baby! It's a very touching and awe-inspiring moment :) My husband was there for all of mine and it was so intimate for us to share that together.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:42 PM on Apr. 17, 2009

  • i have two babies and with both of them i was alone for all my doctors appts and ultrasounds...not b/c he couldnt make it, he just didnt want to go..i was lucky to have him in the delivery room..i mean at least he cares...? i understand how that could be hard to not have him there with you
    idk, good luck to you, i wish the best.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:05 AM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • You aren't being unreasonable, you're pregnant and hormonal (: Yes, these things are very important and I'm sure it's important to him too. He may not have meant anything by saying "you can't really see much," he could even try to be making himself feel better in the event that he may have to miss it. He is at least making an effort, he says he will come but may have to leave early. That says he cares, and who knows...maybe if the appt does run late he'll surprise you and stay anyway and head to class late. Either way, I don't think it means that he doesn't want to be there but I see why you feel sad. I've had two ultrasounds and 4 prenatal checkups and my SO hasn't been to any due to work. He's taking off for the ultrasound to find the sex and that's good enough for me. Just try not to let it get to you! It's hard when the guy can't be there but it'll be okay! Good luck hun!
    javila

    Answer by javila at 1:05 AM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • If it bothers you that he might not make it explain to him how you feel and how important it is that he supports you. You scheduled it early enough and that shows that you're willing to compromise and IMO it's his turn to compromise a bit and if it does get too close to class he can peace out a little early at least he showed his support. After all it's his baby too.
    feelgoodinc

    Answer by feelgoodinc at 1:05 AM on Apr. 18, 2009