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Living next to your mother.

What do you do when you live next to your mom, your hubby can't stand her with good reason, but tolerates her, she drives you crazy, lies about you to neighbors, upsets your home on a daily basis. Yet you have no car and she is your only means of transportation. Your 2 seconds from losing your cool with her and your oldest thinks nana hates her which pisses you off more. She says I never let her have the kids but when I ask her to babysit she says no, whines, or tells me they were aweful when I get back infront of them. She also throws a fit if they ever have to go on car rides with us. I'm seriously at my wits end.

 
hot-mama86

Asked by hot-mama86 at 1:07 AM on Apr. 18, 2009 in Relationships

Level 26 (29,263 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (19)
  • There is a book for dealing with toxic parents ... in fact, I think the title is something about Toxic Parents. It might help you to understand and find healthy ways to deal with the situation. I think you're going to have to do two things - one is find other means of transportation. What would you do if she wasn't there? Also, do not ask her to babysit and if you borrow money from her stop doing that as well and pay her back anything you might owe her as soon as possible. It might take you a while to figure something out - don't get discouraged; something will turn up! The other thing is harder: learn to set clear, firm boundaries. This is something very few people learn to do effectively - which is why women tend to end up being doormats or swinging the other way and being total b!tches... we don't learn to set boundaries well. She will not like it at first, but if you remain calm, patient, gentle, and firm, she'll adjust.
    Collinsky

    Answer by Collinsky at 1:31 AM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • yOU SHUT-UP.MAMA IS YOUR MAMA!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:12 AM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • Wow nice and mature my mama is crazy always has been I was looking for serious advise not another psycho to add to the mix thank you though very adult like.
    hot-mama86

    Answer by hot-mama86 at 1:14 AM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • I also have a mother who is certifiably crazy. Seriously. She wants people to come visit, then ignores them. She treats one of us (siblings) great, then badmouthes us to the others. It is not just that, she really is crazy and I can't describe everything. I really have no answers for you and I am sorry. Just sympathy. I truely understand.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:21 AM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • Move or deal with it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:21 AM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • Can't move
    hot-mama86

    Answer by hot-mama86 at 1:25 AM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • What happened to your other question?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:28 AM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • some one had it deleted not sure why I didn't see it being offensive.
    hot-mama86

    Answer by hot-mama86 at 1:29 AM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • hOW DO YOU KNOW SHE IS THE ONE CRAZY? MAYBE YOU NEED THERAPY! MAYBE YOU ARE CONSTANTLY BELITTLING HER, OR SHE IS TOO DIFF. THAN YOU BUT YOU WOULD NOT BE HERE WITHOUT HER? SORRY FOR SAYING SHUT-UP.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:30 AM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • Um lets see she wants nothing to do with her grandkids than blames me a psych deemed her crazy and I just paid her phone, groceries and cigs when I can't afford it and she took some of the grocery money and went out to eat. plus evey thing already listed in the question this is to the anon
    hot-mama86

    Answer by hot-mama86 at 1:36 AM on Apr. 18, 2009

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