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Is there an easy way to tell ur five yr old that there father died?

My husban was in iraq and his grouped got bombed, he passed and i need advice on how to tell my son thathis daddy isnt comeing home.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:46 AM on Apr. 18, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Oh, WOW.. Im so sorry to hear that.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:48 AM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • Oh god...This is so sad and Im sorry for you and yoru son... This has got to be so hard for you... I really can't tell how to tell your son that... and I really don't that there is a easy way of doing that either.... At that age, its hard for them to understand... Once again Im so sorry hun... i will be praying for you.
    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 2:49 AM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • I am so so sorry for you and your son... I don't have any advice, but I will pray for you and your son.
    Erin1108

    Answer by Erin1108 at 4:25 AM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • (((YOU)))..There is a way to do it and its very carefully. Use easy words for him to understand. Dont't say "he got bombed" say He got hurt really bad. Tell him the truth in words that he can understand. If he has questions, answer each and every one of them for him. He may be young but he will understand what is going on. How you say things will determine how he handles it. ☺
    Kat122

    Answer by Kat122 at 4:53 AM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • I don't know that I'd say "got hurt really bad" either. I'd simply say that you just found out that his Daddy went to Heaven (if you believe in Heaven). And if he asks why I'd say, well you know how Mommy's told you that Daddy had to leave to help keep our country safe? Well, your Daddy was so strong and brave that he went to Heaven so that he could help to keep all little boys and girls all over the world, not just our country, as safe as he can. Your Daddy is a hero and we should be so very proud of him (and I am to all of the men and women who are giving themselves to keep us safe).
    You're in my hearts and prayers and your husband is a hero ma'am and your son should know that and be proud to be his Dad.
    My 8 yr old has known that her sister died before she was born for a long time and she still talks about her like she knew her and asks questions. Simple is good with young kids.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 8:36 AM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • Oh my God, I'm so sorry. My husband will be in Afghanistan in a few days. I am absolutely terrified this will happen. There should be grief counselors at the post you are at. Find them. There is no easy way of telling him. But I think you need to come to terms with it first, and try to do it quickly. Your son needs to know as soon as possible. You should talk with a chaplain, heck, go to the post hospital to find help. I agree with the above post, you need to reassure your son that his dad died fighting for freedom, and that he is a hero. That he will always be with you guys in your hearts, and he is watching over you both from heaven. My heart aches for you and your son, your whole family. You need to get some grief counseling, too. I am so sorry to hear you lost him.

    Buffie95

    Answer by Buffie95 at 10:03 AM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • My deepest sympathies for this horrible sadness. Much peace and love your way!

    Keep it simple and honest. Something like, daddy got hurt really bad while he was doing his job and he is up in XXXX now. Add he's watching over you all now or whatnot depending on your beliefs.
    Reassure him that his daddy loved him and will forever and then answer any questions he has, honestly but simply.

    GL I know it cant be easy.
    Amaranth361

    Answer by Amaranth361 at 11:45 AM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • IDK. My son lost his dad when he was almost 5 years old, but it was because he was murdered. We told him for a while that he was killed in a hunting accident for a while. Then when he got a little older he started asking questions and we told him the truth. You could always start out with something simple, then expand on it as he gets older and begins to ask questions.
    pajamk

    Answer by pajamk at 12:19 PM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • I've found that the movie The Lion King is good for kids to help them understand the circle of life. Maybe you can watch that with your child and talk about it that way. My condolences for your loss. I try to keep up with the fallen since my dd's bf is in Iraq. I life near Eglin Air Force Base in FL and read where the last fallen was from Crestview, FL near me. Bless you and your child. This can't be easy for you.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:20 PM on Apr. 18, 2009

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