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Why do SAHMs feel the need to look down on working moms and why do working moms feel the need to look down on SAHMs?

Why do we tear each other down and try to make the opposite side feel worthless or a bad mom?


Asked by Anonymous at 3:34 AM on Apr. 18, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (21)
  • We all want to feel that we are good mothers. So when someone does something different than us we feel our own worth threatened. We analyze which one is the better mom, which one is doing the right thing and which is in the wrong. It is human nature to think there must be a right way and a wrong way, it is hard to accept the grey areas in life.

    By tearing down people who do something opposite it makes us feel that we are better than them. This is done in all aspects of life, not just motherhood. We nit-pick and try to find anything to use against the other side and when we find something that hurts them we hold onto it and use it as often as possible.

    Also many mothers very strongly believe what they are doing is right and cannot imagine why someone wouldn't want to do the right thing for their children.


    Answer by AnnaMac at 3:41 AM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • I don't know who you've been talking to, but I have never heard anyone "tear" down a working mom or SAHM, both have advantages and apparently those who are bashing eachother need to grow the F**** up

    Answer by Breezy1988 at 3:40 AM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • I agree. Its really dumb. There are some SAHMS that need to be working and some WMs that need to be at home, lol. Its all about what's best for your family.

    Answer by MamaChamp at 3:42 AM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • Breezy I just saw a post 2 nights ago. A mom was upset because her dh wanted her to work. And working moms started blasting her and saying she was lazy and they don't know why anyone would want to be at home...blah blah blah. It happens alot.

    Answer by MamaChamp at 3:43 AM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • I don't see it lol. I float in a few different circles on CM and don't see this. I think 80 percent of it is a gross misunderstanding. A SAHM may say why she stays at home and a working mom feels she was attacked, or vice versa. Does that make sense?

    I also think some women are very passionate, which can be abrasive at times, but it's not that they look down but it's their personality to be open/honest about their feelings beliefs.

    I am sure some do look down on each other, I just haven't dealt with it.

    Answer by celticreverie at 3:44 AM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • Its the same thing that breastfeeders and formula feeders do on here. Breastfeeders seem to think they are superior, and they get pissy when formula feeders shoot them down and make it obvious that they're not. Everybody is free to do what they want and whats best for them. So who cares if you stay at home or work outside of the house. Its not your family to judge

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:51 AM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • Anonymous original poster is just a troll trying to get women all upset.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:51 AM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • Oh yea I have seen that ALOT here on cafemom. Working moms think they are better because they "take care of themselves" and "don't depend on a man" or "are a contributing member of society" and say that SAHM moms are just lazy. Then SAHMs fire back by saying that working moms "are paying someone else to raise their children" or "shouldn't have kids if they can't care for them" or that working moms are selfish. I see it all the time here and in my daily life.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:52 AM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • wow, sorry about my post earlier, I just read one lol. One thing that I have learned is on this site especially is not to let what others say get to you, whether it be true or that they are just bashing you to make themselves feel better. I think a lot of women forget that we ALL have an inner bitch in us and a website with nothing but women is bound to get some dirty drama stirred up, its like high school in a way nothing but a big popularity contest

    Answer by Breezy1988 at 4:07 AM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • before I get someone upset that popularity contest thing is just my opinion

    Answer by Breezy1988 at 4:10 AM on Apr. 18, 2009