• In the Spotlight:
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My BF and I have been together for almost a year. We live together and things have been rough lately with my daughter's health and it's been taking a toll on our relationship. He said that he is done but no matter what I say he won't give us another chance. He admits that he hasn't put much effort in the past few weeks. I know that with a little hard work we can bring the spark back and things can be just as good as they have been but he is still insistent that he is done. I suggested that my daughter and I go stay with someone else for a few days and he didn't really give me an answer on that. Any other suggestions? I am miserable and not ready to give up on us yet.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:58 AM on Apr. 18, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • Your not married to him, find someone who wants to marry you, and would be commited to a relationship with you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:01 AM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • Leave for a few days. Absence makes the heart grow fonder as they say. Surprise him and try and bring the spark back. Maybe have a little alone time without the baby.
    brailynsmama08

    Answer by brailynsmama08 at 8:03 AM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • If he didn't give you an answer that's a good sign. If he were truly done he would say go so there is hope. My hubby has done this also during stressful times. They don't cope well with things out of their control. Stay where youare, but give him space not to much, but enough to think. Talk to him only on common things that wont cause fightsand make it breif like dinner is ready, and heres your laundry. Don't completely hide your sadness, but don't ball your eyes out around him until he comes around a little. If you aren't already sleep in another area. Try and stay strong and remind him and you of better times. Good luck, If you need some one to talk to you can PM me.
    hot-mama86

    Answer by hot-mama86 at 8:06 AM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • Leaving wont help if he didn't say to trust me it will make it worse.
    hot-mama86

    Answer by hot-mama86 at 8:07 AM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • Well I left my SO when my daughter was about 6 months old. He even carried my luggage to the car for me. I was gone for a week, did not call him, did not answer his calls, did not answer his texts. I was furious with him, because he was so sure that he wanted me to go. Well after that first week, I found a bouquet of flowers in my car, and a long love letter, about how he was sorry and did not want to lose me. So I would definitely go and give him time to figure out if the relationship with you is what he really wants. Maybe the fact that he has a new baby to take care of is just really taking a toll on him!! Alot of new fathers do not adjust to the situation as well as new mothers. Boys just don't wanna grow up!! Good Luck, I really hope that everything works out for you...If he wants out and there is nothing you can do. If leaving doesn't fix it, then know that there is someone else out there to love you and your baby!!
    pamelajqs

    Answer by pamelajqs at 8:23 AM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • I think you are just going to have to let it go, for now. He may come around, but it's not fair to anyone to try and force him to stay. If he can't deal with what's going on now, what if something bigger comes along?
    Buffie95

    Answer by Buffie95 at 9:51 AM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • Do you really want a guy who can't stick it out through the rough times? What if YOU get seriously sick, is he going to walk out? Personally, I would prefer someone who is willing to actually be there. Sounds like his commitment is for good times only.
    mancosmomma

    Answer by mancosmomma at 10:15 AM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • Why would you want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you? It just doesn't make sense to me. If what you want is to be married, then wait for a man who wants to be married. Don't give away your body, thinking that it will get you committed love. It won't. It gets you used until the user gets tired and bored and wants a new conquest. There are still lots of men who want to be married and have families. Wait for one of those to find you.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 11:24 AM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • Love doesn't take work. Why would you want to be with someone who has to work at loving you? And if you leave before you are sure, remember, out of sight out of mind. He may love his freedom more then you think.
    Chrissy629

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 12:01 PM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • Ok men are different than woman. Woman can handle being scared better then man. Men don't deal well with things they can't control. You said your dd has health issues what kind? It sound like he is scared in which case they tend to push us away. That sounds like what he is doing. I don't think he really does not want to be with you if he didn't he would've told you to go. Trust me on that one. As for the marraige thing the OP never mentioned marraige so how do you even know she wants it let alone that he doesn't. Besides that my hubby and I did not get married for 2 yrs. after we had our 1st and I think it was a blessing we got through the rough times first so we knew we could handle ever day stuff. It's much better to get through this before you even consider getting married. There is nothing in this post indicated a user HE IS SCARED!!! That is all we freak out to some times does that make us all users. Yes love does take wo
    hot-mama86

    Answer by hot-mama86 at 10:11 PM on Apr. 18, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.