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What creative way can I apologize to my man for having a male friend that he didn't know about?

 
kimmy1972

Asked by kimmy1972 at 10:58 AM on Apr. 18, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (8)
  • nothing wrong with friends of the opposite sex until you start hiding them from your spouse/so. that is lying and deceitful and It hurts like hell to be the one that has to find out that you did it. It violates trust.and damages that trust. It is hard to trust someone who has hid a relationship. 80% or more affairs start as just friends whether you hide them or not. affairs are raely about sex they are about emtional needs being met. Sex is just the climax to an affair. I guess that makes most affairs emtional til you have sex. My husband hid a relationship from me that he had with a female co worker. It is probly gonna take more than just an apoligy its gonna take rebuilding trust.like it or not the damage is done and the scars are there.

    hypersquirrel

    Answer by hypersquirrel at 1:36 PM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • sex or food are always best! LOL.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:58 AM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • There are no creative ways to apologize. What you are looking for is a bribe, and bribes are not the same things as apologies. Besides that, why do you have to apologize to one friend for having another friend? I've been married more than 44 years, and I have lots of friends, many of them male, and it's never caused any problems in my marriage. There must be more to this than you've revealed.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 11:27 AM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • I agree with NannyB. What was the reason he didn't know about him and why was he upset when he found out?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:37 AM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • Why should you apologize for having a male friend? Do you have to apologize for having female friends he doesn't know about? What about his female friends, does he have to apologize to you about having them? That's just crazy. people have friends. I wouldn't apologize for having one no matter the gender. If he is secure in the relationship with you then there shouldnt' be a problem. Tell him to get over himself
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:07 PM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • FYI, its never a good idea to tell them to get over themselves. This is a problem that needs to be addressed. Whether it was your fault or not because I agree, there has to be more to this story. BUT that doesn't matter right now...what matters is there is a problem and you have recognized it. Maybe you should get counseling or try the book "The Love Dare". I hear it is a great book and I plan on reading it myself soon. There are also groups on CM that are associated with that book. And there is the movie "fireproof" too. Don't listen to the people who say tell him to get over it, you never know if they have ever even been married or in a serious relationship...and if they have, then how long did THAT last! Good luck hun!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:29 PM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • Nope, never ok to tell them to "get over yourself". There are either underlying issues with him or you that needs to be addressed.
    pajamk

    Answer by pajamk at 12:30 PM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • Actually I wouldn't tell him to get over himself because I know this was deceitful what I did. I need for him to regain the trust back and I have done some things that he said shows effort. I know it's going to take a while for him to trust me. I do simple things like having the phone right there. However there was more to it of why I had a secret friend. That's a whole other story that is very long. Anyway thank you for all of your answers. Take care!
    kimmy1972

    Answer by kimmy1972 at 1:45 PM on Apr. 22, 2009

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