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What do you believe is the difference from being married and just living together?

What do you believe is the difference from being married and just living together?

Answer Question
 
MissMandaz

Asked by MissMandaz at 11:56 AM on Apr. 18, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (2 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • well, one's a marriage and one's not. There are processes and legalities involved in marriage.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:00 PM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • vows and piece of paper that says you are committed and the right to a name change. Living together stills allows freedome to be a unique individual not the extension of someone else. (jmho)
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:01 PM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • Living together gives you the chance to work out things free of the court and a lot less hurt feelings making it asier to fix the family and reconnect if you so choose. Getting marreid pulls the courts into it for even a short seperation which can cause a lot more hurt feelings and pulling strangers into your families problems making it a lot harder to try and fix things.
    Alanaplus3

    Answer by Alanaplus3 at 12:06 PM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • before i got married my dh and i had lived together for 5 years. i thought there was no difference then. i always used to say we're basically married. Once i got married no that was wrong. It is a huge difference emotionally and eternally. It doesnt look like a huge difference from the outside looking in-all looks the same but the truth is we have both changed and grew so much in these last 2 years as a married couple. We have a bigger understanding of each other and what our "jobs" are in our family and marriage. I love him even more now that we have this deeper commitment. I'm sure its something you dont realize until you actually become married because I had no idea.
    BusyB-Mommy

    Answer by BusyB-Mommy at 12:07 PM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • BusyB-Mommy: wow I'd never seen it put that way. My Fiance and I have been together for 4 1/2 years, we're getting married in about 4 months, and I say the same thing, "oh, we're practically married"....but I'm really glad you and your Husband really grew together as a couple and have that deeper connection...I'm almost not able to wait until our wedding date...I can't wait to marry that man.
    So thank you for that answer, I'm really looking forward to finally being married the love of my life
    <3
    carliemarie1015

    Answer by carliemarie1015 at 12:11 PM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • Living together means that you can still look around, and so can he. Even though the couple may hope that the other won't look around, they have no firm vow. Granted that marriages break up all the time because of cheating. So marriage should only be considered when the couple is absolutely certain that both want to live together all their lives, through better and worse, and so on. There is a sense of security based on the willingness of the other person to make the lifelong committment.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 12:11 PM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • Marriage involves a legal contract, living together does not. Both marriage & living together can involve a spiritual union, but neither has to. Both marriage & living together are social arrangements & both involve a financial arrangement to some degree (though this may be no more than who pays for the shared home).

    nysa00

    Answer by nysa00 at 12:15 PM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • In a word...security. I lived with my dh for a few months til my divorce from my abusive ex went through, and we got married as soon as it was legal to do so. I'm with BusyB-Mommy...the emotions changed for me. I'm FREE to love him without worrying about him leaving, and I love him more now than I did when I married him!
    rhope4

    Answer by rhope4 at 12:20 PM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • After reading on CafeMom over the months about people living together and having children together, I asked my husband if we had been much younger and were a dating couple in these days, would we have lived together or still gotten married. He did not hesitate to say we would have married. I said why? There are people at CafeMom who have raised several children with the guy they are living with and they say they are perfectly happy. He said that he likes that in marriage there is the committment and the determination to make it work even in bad times. It occurred to me that being best friends as we are, that knowing we can trust each other enough to trust the keeping of the vows, makes a joyful union. We know the other will do all they can to make things work. I love him and wish to spend my life with him. We gave our children the security of a legal and religiously committed union.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 12:40 PM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • I was with my ex for 3yrs before getting married and the only thing that changed was that he thought he was more secure in the relationship but the relationship itself didn't change. We were only legally married for over a year before I left him. Twenty dollars to get married and 8k to divorce him. It wasn't worth it!!

    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 12:51 PM on Apr. 18, 2009

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