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I NEVER thought I would need help with something like this!

I need my CM relationship experts here!

I just logged into my facebook and my ex-fiance (whom I haven't seen in 6 years, I've been with my DH for 6 years and married for almost three of those years) wrote me a really nice message asking if we could be friends. We broke up because of distance issues and cultural differences (I'm a little more liberal than he thinks women should be).

I honestly wouldn't mind being friends with him. He is an interesting person and I loved his family. He lives in Spain. There is no way I'd EVER get back together with him (duh) but I do not mind being friendly. How to approach this with DH? Should I just ignore his message?


Asked by Anonymous at 1:31 PM on Apr. 18, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • ignore it!! I'm sorry I would not want to open that door open.

    Answer by ColtsFan1912 at 1:33 PM on Apr. 18, 2009


    Answer by 2mothershelpers at 1:36 PM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • I say ignore it. I don't feel comfortable talking to "ex's" even if it is just friendly...just doesn't feel right to me.

    Answer by carliemarie1015 at 1:39 PM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • I think you're all probably right.

    I do feel that I need closure that I never got. We broke up over the phone after fighting and I thought he acted like a complete jerk. I feel I am owed explanations about certain things and an apology for the way he treated me. I think if he is in a different place in his life right now (which the message seems like it sounded he was), maybe he could give me those things because let me tell you, moving on and being in a "normal" relationship has been hard since my experience with him.

    I guess closure is something that I should let happen on it's own in time rather than trying to get it by talking to him though. You ladies are probably right, it's a door I shouldn't open.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:40 PM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • Do not open that door. and definately tell dh about it . just let dh know that your past fiance contacted you and you thought he should know.

    Answer by hypersquirrel at 1:41 PM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • I say ignore it, because it may cause drama that you just dont want in your life, you have moved on and I think he needs to do the same

    Answer by hautemama83 at 1:41 PM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • If your husband is fully aware of the situation and is ok with it, there's no reason not to be friends with him, it's been six years sheesh! I'm assuming you're over him.

    HOWEVER- if the relationship was extremely chemical, don't go there. Exchange pleasantries at xmas and whatnot, otherwise, leave it be :)



    Answer by MizKizzy at 1:43 PM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • You know all the reasons you broke up. You're still you, and he's still him. Would a friendly relationship work, knowing that the 2 of you are so different?

    Answer by EireLass at 1:48 PM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • I have exchange the occasional facebook and myspace message with my ex. He is a really nice guy and I have no interest in him at all. All that said, it makes my husband upset and it is not worth the headache. I rarely hear from him much now and when I do I just ignore it. I love my husband to much and i don't want to make him pissed over a couple dumb emails. That is just my experience.

    Answer by LovemygirlsPH at 2:08 PM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • You are married now, and no matter how wonderful he is or why you broke up, it would be completely inappropriate for you to renew a friendship. Just ask yourself how you would feel if your husband did that. I'm sure there are plenty of interesting people around you or in your life that this particular one isn't a necessity. I would recommend responding saying thanks for the blast from the past, glad you are doing well, but I am busy with my husband and my family and would rather we just let the past stay where it ought to.

    Answer by figaro8895 at 2:09 PM on Apr. 18, 2009