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Is it rude for a parent to call and ask if their child can come over

to your house on a regular basis (2-4 times a week)? I know she is doing it because her child is bugging her to, but still it's a bit redundant. We're somewhat familiar with eachother so perhaps she wouldn't be doing this with a complete stranger, but still it seems a bit evasive so do you think this rude?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:41 PM on Apr. 18, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • Uh yes, that's MAJORLY rude. I would say that's borderline rude even if it was a family member but if this is just an acquaintance than that's insane. I would only do that in an emergency, otherwise you wait for an invitation!

    aurorabunny

    Answer by aurorabunny at 1:46 PM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • . . . a bit evasive? That word does not fit into the context of your sentence. Maybe you meant invasive?
    BridgetC140

    Answer by BridgetC140 at 1:48 PM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • It is rude though. When I was a kid, I always had to ask . . my friends parents never asked for me . . . that would have been cool . .lol.
    BridgetC140

    Answer by BridgetC140 at 1:49 PM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • People do this all the time in neighborhoods. It's called scheduled playdates. They swap locations. It's not rude, and perhaps she'd like to have it swap around too, but doesn't know how to get it all going. Maybe waiting for the other parent to join in the understanding.
    EireLass

    Answer by EireLass at 1:51 PM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • So, FireLass, she is waiting for me to join in on the understanding that I should be calling her asking if my child can go to her house everyother day? I don't get it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:10 PM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • I odn't think its rude. Maybe she is finding it tough and you have been really helpful and good with giving her a break regularly. You can say no or you can tell her you aren't comfortable with her calling so often to ask...
    keyaziz

    Answer by keyaziz at 2:37 PM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • I think it's just the change in our society. When I was a kid, we waited until we were invited to go to a friend's house. My kids and their friends call each other several times a week asking if they can come over or go over to the others house...depending upon whose turn it is. Maybe you should say something like, she came over last time, how about my child coming to your house? I could use a break??
    Sue41

    Answer by Sue41 at 2:38 PM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • I wouldn't be thinking its rude..I would be wondering how the mother is doing and why she wants her kid round mine a lot. I would be concerned.
    keyaziz

    Answer by keyaziz at 2:38 PM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • It's kind of rude, I would not call to ask if my kid could come to yours, but if yours could come to us. I don't invite myself to other's homes. But, at the same time, I would also have to wonder what is going on that is having her do this? Is her child lonely, and mine is the only one around? Is mom really stressed and needing a break, and maybe too embarassed to admit it? Is there some other situation in the house that she is trying to get the child away from? Perhaps she, or someone else in the house, is being abused, using drugs, drinking too much? I'm not saying those things are happening, but they are things that I can think of that I certainly wouldn't want my kids around, and under those circumstances, I just might invite my son over to your house.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 2:51 PM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • I don't find it rude. If the kid showed up without calling, that would be rude. She is asking, you can say no. If you say no often enough, she will stop. If you have been saying yes, she will continue. If you don't like it, talk to her about it.
    mancosmomma

    Answer by mancosmomma at 3:24 PM on Apr. 18, 2009

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