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Anyone ever had this happen????

Im engaged to a man that i have dated for 2 years....but lately i find myself thinking about the guy that i had before him. The man that im engaged too has 2 kids from a previous marriage and his ex wife is crazy. I dnt know if this is noraml or what i should do about it

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tber22

Asked by tber22 at 9:40 PM on Apr. 18, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (6)
  • I did that. When I was dating DH I never thought about my ex but as soon as we started planning the wedding I started evaluating the differences between DH and my ex. I even called him to have a 'closure' conversation and that didn't go to well. But in the end I knew it was just a temporary freak out and I was with the only man I ever wanted to be with.
    I think it's normal to have these thoughts you are processing the idea of being with this one man the rest of your life and want to know without a shadow of a doubt that this is excatly what you want. But I'd say 99.9% of the time you realize you are with your mr right and those thoughts go away.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:44 PM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • I think it is just because you are about to be with one person for the rest of your life and you are taking a step back and looking at all the angles one last time. You love the man you are with or you wouldnt have said yes to marrying him. Marriage is a hardship for love but love is the greatest gift of all the hardships you will go through with that man.
    Bugsmommy1908

    Answer by Bugsmommy1908 at 9:54 PM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • Follow your gut instinct. Have a talk about all the "unspoken assumptions" that coming into a marriage with children and crazy ex will inevitable bring. I think it is human nature to think that the grass is greener across the street. I think that if he is the one you will know after that talk.
    bebita

    Answer by bebita at 10:01 PM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • It's natural to compare the man your with to the one's you've been with. If we didn't we'd never make better choices in me. On the other hand I dated a man you had a daughter and a crazy ex wife and i don't envy your situation. Talk to him and make sure that he no longer want's her (kids are powerful ties) and that he understands that you have no desire to be put in the middle of situations between the two of them. I was constantly harassed by my ex's ex wife and in the end it was to much to deal with.
    miranda4403

    Answer by miranda4403 at 10:06 PM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • R you ready to deal with the crazy exwife for ever- this will be your reality from now on. I would have a heart to heart with the man your engaged to about his exwife and children. How he plans to handle any and all situation that will arrise after you are married. You will need to make sure that he will be on your side and that you will be backed up with all descions and disapline. However if you bothe parent in a possitive manner the kids will love you and you shouldn't have a problem. I wonder if your thinking about an old love because you are nervous about your upcoming marriage or feeling unsure about your relationship in the now.
    susan6xblessed

    Answer by susan6xblessed at 10:13 PM on Apr. 18, 2009

  • perfectly normal...i think its a girl thing...most of the time, when you say to someone...I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU...thats actually the way it ends up...even if part of you hates him. nothin to worry about. you are who you are ment to be with...and congrats on the upcoming wedding.
    melissacoulter

    Answer by melissacoulter at 10:58 PM on Apr. 18, 2009

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