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My mother wants to take my daughter home with her (which is 25miles away from me) I keep telling her no...but she wont leave me alone...Help???!!

My mother was never a mother at all. She always treated me like crap. Chose men over me, beat me whatever she had, hid food from me, never fixed enough food for supper for me...I had lost so much weight because of her at one point. She never cared about me at all. Never bought me anything, even though she got child support for me. I have seen her watch other children and she was totally mean to them. Always hitting them and yelling at them, even though they werent hers. My daughter is only 3 months but I am not letting her take her and she wont leave me alone about it. (I am posting a journal about everything (cuz there is too much to put on here) so feel free to look at that to help with your answer.) She never played the mother role, but now wants to play the "Grandmother" role and I cant stand it...HELP!!!!!

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makenzimommy09

Asked by makenzimommy09 at 12:14 AM on Apr. 19, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 5 (101 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Sounds like you are doing the right thing. I wouldn't trust her with my newborn either!
    jamesmommy12

    Answer by jamesmommy12 at 12:15 AM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • Just flat out tell her "Mom you abused me as a child and I won't let that happen to my daughter."
    MamaChamp

    Answer by MamaChamp at 12:17 AM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • yeah no. never.
    aliciatron

    Answer by aliciatron at 12:19 AM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • My mom was crappy too but gets all "grandma-y with my daughter. I'd never let her babysit or keep her for a whole night. If someone is that pushy and not listening to "no", who knows what else they might not listen to. I have a strong feeling that if I ever left my baby with my mom, she'd give her candy just cause I ban it.
    jus1jess

    Answer by jus1jess at 12:20 AM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • oh I'm sorry you're so upset. My mother is also controlling. I finally can say that when I was a kid she gave me what I needed but didn't help me grow. I finally set guidelines after a long long time of fights cause she thought I wasn't any good. I told her over and over and again still that I want to see her and my kids want to see her but we can only talk about good things about my kids, nothing other than that. Finally she believes me and our visits are good. A lot of hard times happened before we came to where we are now. I had no doubt that what we say was false. I knew and know how good of a mom I am. I'm glad that finally I figured out how to get along with her. If that doesn't work for you to think about maybe counselllling to feel better about yourself?
    Good Luck!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:20 AM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • You're just going to have to keep telling her no. If she doesn't stop bothering you about it than distance yourself from her until she gets the point. I wouldn't let her dare take my daughter if she treated her own child so horribly. Just stay strong and stick to your guns.
    Ash9724

    Answer by Ash9724 at 12:20 AM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • you are the mother you say NO...its not like she can take her...if she doesn't leave you alone about t kick her out of your house.

    Even if she wasn.'t a rotten mom its understandable for you to not want your child away from you..
    tabi_cat1023

    Answer by tabi_cat1023 at 12:40 AM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • MY mother did the SAME CRAP!
    She got 1200 in child support for me and my two siblings but we couldnt so much as go to a movie on friday night. It was always up to me to cook for my siblings and sometimes "cooking" was some pbj sandwiches. She ALWAYS put her men first. I told her to her face she was a whore one time and there wasnt a single thing she could say back because it was the truth. She never beat us, sorry for that (even though if you are like me, you dont really want ppl to pity you) but verbal abuse was as common as other children hear "I love you." I wouldnt let my mom take her and would have the same problem of not wanting to tell the real reason why. Tell her that you are attachment parenting. Im sure you know what it is, just get the specifics and say that at this age it isnt possible to let her stay the night and do your style of parenting.
    Hope I was helpful
    HunnysFarAway

    Answer by HunnysFarAway at 2:04 AM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • What's the question here? It seems like you know what you are doing.
    Krysta622

    Answer by Krysta622 at 8:39 AM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • Tell her hell no! My SO's mother was abusive to him, and I absolutely REFUSE to let my child be alone with her!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:07 PM on Apr. 19, 2009

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