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How do u get rid of seperation anxiety?

My 8 month old son has seperation anxiety so bad! He cries if I walk out of the room. When I lay him to bed he is crying nonstop. I try and let him cry it out, but he does not stop for a long time. I always make sure he is full, changed, and burped before I lay him down.

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jocemiah

Asked by jocemiah at 12:25 AM on Apr. 19, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

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Answers (17)
  • It's a phase. Trust me. I am part of a mommy group that all have 8 and 9 month olds, some are SAHM moms and some work outside the home. ALL of our babies are going through this. It will pass as they become more independent and realize that exploring away from mommy and getting into things they shouldn't be is more fun
    a_and_j_momma

    Answer by a_and_j_momma at 12:33 AM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • Crying it out makes it worse. Try wearing your baby. The closer you are to your baby he or she will know that you aren't just "leaving" and will be right back.
    SmileyMoo

    Answer by SmileyMoo at 12:40 AM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • Crying it out does not make it worse.
    a_and_j_momma

    Answer by a_and_j_momma at 12:45 AM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • I have heard peek a boo helps but I dont know this, it was just a recommendation on a similar question. My baby is pretty good with me leaving the room for short periods of time, if it is a phase at that age, then she wont be ok with it for long! When I am in the shower and she starts to get fussy I sing and talk to her. I tell her over and over that "mommy will be right there." Does she stop? Not really, but maybe she will eventually learn that when I say "mommy will be right there" to just wait a little bit and I will come and do whatever it is that she needs me to do.
    HunnysFarAway

    Answer by HunnysFarAway at 12:51 AM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • Separation anxiety is normal for his age and will go away on its own. Making him cry it out might just make it last longer! What you want to do is make sure that he feels very secure and very safe, and that might mean that you need to show him that you are always there for him, that you respond to his cries, that he can count on you. Picking him up and holding him will not teach him to cry to manipulate you; it teaches him that you're there for him when he needs you. He doesn't have the same mental processes of a six year old - that would be a different situation. It is totally fine to hold your baby when he needs you, it will probably make things easier for both of you now, and won't make him more clingy when he's older.
    Collinsky

    Answer by Collinsky at 12:52 AM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • It's not a phase. He's just a baby. Making a crying baby cry longer is in no way good for him. It's been proven that CIO is harmful and ineffective. He's just a baby. Love and attention are still needs, not luxuries. Give him what he needs and hold him. Buy a ling so you can keep him happy and near you while being hands free if you need.
    jus1jess

    Answer by jus1jess at 12:54 AM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • CIO is not harmful or ineffective. I can guarantee if you stand 2 five year olds next to eachother when they're in school you will not be able to tell which one CIO and which one was in a sling.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:17 AM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • ah the joys of seperation..... not really! It is a completely normal part of childhood. And they will go through it again later on in life as well. My almost 11 month old actually went through little spurts of it from 7-10 months. I'm awful at letting kids cry it out, so here is my overnurturing mother advice. I would let my son cry for 3 min, then go in and hold his hand for a min or so. I never picked him up!! I specifically was letting him know I was only in the other room. As the days passed by, I would let him cry for a little longer, hold his hand, then talk to him as I left the room. After a couple weeks, he was great! Every blue moon. he'll freak out again, but he recovers much more quickly since I took the time to assure him I would be back!!! Every kid is different, but you cannot overnurture a child!!
    littlebump4me

    Answer by littlebump4me at 1:43 AM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • Hold him. Babies need love and attention. CIO is harmful, do some research. He won't be a baby forever, you might miss holding him later.

    My son we very high needs and my solution was just giving him extra attention. Yes, sometimes I HAD to put him down, but only to do important things. There aren't many things that are much more important to me than comforting my child.
    ronisaurus

    Answer by ronisaurus at 2:10 AM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • Hold your poor baby! Your going to create a very insecure individual if you make him cry it out, especailly during separation anxiety period!! He needs to learn to trust you before he can be independent. You talk about it like it's a sickness, asking how to "get rid of it". It's not a sickness, it's a BABY with feelings and emotions and the need for human touch, comfort and interaction just like any other normal person. Buy a sling, and wear your baby if it's THAT much of an inconvenience for you, that way at least your hands will be free. What are you so busy with that you cant hold your baby, or take ten extra minutes to nurse him to sleep? Maybe you should get your priorities straight if the dishes are becoming more important than your child's mental health.

    Seriously I wonder why you women even have children, when you dont even have time to hold your babies!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:25 AM on Apr. 19, 2009

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