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My man takes his daughters side (my step daughter) all the time and turns it into our fight. any advice on stopping this?

My step daughter and my son are toddlers and often take eachother's toys, hit, throw fits etc. The thing is, my hubby often takes his daughters side saying things like" He provoked her" or "he should learn to not play near her" etc. This gets us in arguments and on the ofense because we just recently became a family. I try to explain that now that we're a family...there cant be a divison. Any advice?

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ForestGrove_Mom

Asked by ForestGrove_Mom at 12:34 AM on Apr. 19, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • He probably senses that you are biased toward you son, and rightfully so. Just as you have picked up on him being biased toward his daughter. Considering the children are toddlers, this tells me that you are a very young family and probably should have worked through these type of issues prior to becoming married. I suggest family counseling.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:56 AM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • well its a god thing that he is looking out for her.thats important and like you said your all new at being a family .Try and talk to him ,read a bleaded family book.or go to a seminiar on blendinga family. she is at the age to do tese things.your son is is younger and hasnt learned how to really play at her age level yet. they will catch up around 2 1/2 yrs. old. and 3. then they can really play together better. your dh will learn to relax about her anwhat you can do is reassure him you really have herbest interest at heart. and you do love her.good luck mama
    MRSBUSYMOM

    Answer by MRSBUSYMOM at 1:35 AM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • family counseling. he needs to learn to put you first. for you two to have a successful and strong marriage that will be healthy for both children your marriage needs to come first.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:40 AM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • It also could have nothing to do with her being his daughter and your Stepdaughter. Is your son his son too or his stepson?

    My parents both said things like that all the time, because I was a girl and they were boys. I was smaller, and a girl so they wanted to protect me. Maybe he's not taking her side, maybe you just see it like that. I'm not saying it's right, just that you may be seeing his behavior in the harshest light possible. Next time he says something like "he should learn not to play near her" you shoul respond calmly and explain that they are siblings and you would prefer that they learn to play together and that as parents it's your job to ensure that they treat each other with love and respect...
    AnnieMcD

    Answer by AnnieMcD at 3:03 AM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • There will always be that division. You are not her mother. And that will never change. So the idea that you should act like it and expect him to treat you like it is ludicrous. A parent protects their child. Why would you even think that he should side with your child against his own? And what kind of mother are you that you would want him to?

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:49 AM on Apr. 19, 2009

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