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How can I have a closer relationship with my 24 year old stepdaughter?

I met my stepdaughter when she was 6. I have provided love, support, encouragement, tenderness and financial help when every she needs it. She is nice to me when she wants something, but returns none of my love with any real relationship. When I've tried to discuss it with her she only gets furious. I love her dearly. Is this just a matter of nothing I can really do other than just continue to show love and committment to her well being and expect little?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:37 AM on Apr. 19, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • go 2 a spa or go shopping together.quality time is a good way to get close.

    Answer by Desi2Sweet at 11:39 AM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • At her age, I think it is time for tough love. If she is only nice to you only when she wants something then you need to stop letting her use you. She is an adult and you have the option to help her if you choose to do so. You are not responsible for taking care of her now because she is grown. You do not have to be treated that way. You should not have to "buy" her love. I had a similar experience with my own family and I had to not let them treat me that way. I stopped running to their aid and giving them things etc. I would only get a phone call from certain people only when they needed something and not just because they wanted to know how I was doing.
    If you really want to know if you can have a close relationship with her without giving her something then say no one day that she calls and needs something. If she gets mad and dont call the next day then you know for sure that that is the only relationship she wanted.

    Answer by momofonewntmore at 11:47 AM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • It's not really possible. My step-mom and I talk to each other, but we will never have that mother-daughter connection. She will never be able to replace my mom, who died when I was 8.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:57 AM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • If it has not been accomplished in 18 yrs you've been working on it I don't think it's going to happen now, sorry. Just accept the relationship as it is what it is.

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:58 AM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • Well after all this time I don't know if you will be able to have the kind of relationship with her that you want. You may have to settle for what she will give you. Do you have any common interests? Maybe if you both had an activity you both liked ( music concerts, art exhibits) you could go do them together, maybe surprise her with tickets to an art exhibit and spend the day together. At least it would be common ground to maybe bring you a bit closer together. I hope things work out and I wish you luck on your relationship with her.

    Answer by MizLee at 6:18 PM on Apr. 19, 2009

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