Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Husband has all the control with the money HELP?

My husband gives me three hundred dollers a week cuz I am SAHM.. well he thinks that I can get groceries, witch is 150 a week, pay a bill hmm like 80 dollars then with the rest get gas and stuff... Hmm no no. There is expensenes through the week like having to run to wal-mart to get who knows what thats out round the house. THIS sucks and we been fighting about it all week long and longer.. I want to kill him right now cuz Iam so pissed off. if I run out of money I am screwed and he gets all upset and wants to know where it all went. He knows I have nothing to show for it cuz I have nothing new. I like to buy something for myself every once in awhile but damn. now I have to start writing down everything that I spend at I am going to keep reciepts too so he knows I am not just throwing it away.. what should I Do??


Asked by Anonymous at 12:31 PM on Apr. 19, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • I think keeping receipts is a very good idea. That way you can show him where every dime went. I think also that when men don't go to the store or pay the bills, it is hard for them to imagine just how expensive groceries and everything else is. It won't be that much trouble to keep records and then he can see for himself.

    Answer by NannyB. at 4:58 PM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • You need to work that out between you, or maybe find a part-time job that you could take your child/children with you?

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:36 PM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • Make him pay all the bills and everything and see what its like. My husband has control of our money and I'm a SAHM too. He goes with me to the grocery and I ask for money if I need it throughout the week. I'll tell him what for and he gives it to me.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:37 PM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • I am a SAHM and I control our money. I take care of the house, the bills and the baby all day long and if I want to spend his money then I feel as though I earned the right to do so. He has his spending money and can buy whatever he wants as well. I would cut out anything extra he wants at the store so you have more money. If he wants it then he should get it and you should spend the money on the food you want for you and your kids. Don't do his laundry and clean up after him. Your a SAMH not his personal slave. If he wants that much control then he can handle doing the grocery shopping for himself and taking care of all his own messes and laundry.

    Answer by brailynsmama08 at 12:40 PM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • i have control of our money and i'm a SAHM too. husband is military and well if i didn't handle it year round i wouldn't know what to do when he leaves. so he knows if he wants something than he has to go to me and make sure that it is ok. i would keep your receipts for like 2-3 weeks then at the end of that say ok, here they are this is where i spend money. sometimes they really don't get it, my husband didn't either he would be like i just got paid this much why do we only have this much and i'd show him why and he got it. if it's there in black and white and they can see it it makes more sense to them

    Answer by vabchmommy at 12:44 PM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • Get a part-time job if it's that big of a deal. How can you not survive on $300 a week to buy groceries and pay bills? That's $1200 to buy groceries and pay house bills. I think you need to spend more wisely.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:06 PM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • Do up a budget showing what bills are due when and the amount. Men are visual creatures so show him how much you need.

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:17 PM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • I dont know what is right for you...either getting a part time job or just talking to your husband and reasoning with him to have a little more control- but what I do know is that getting into a position where you have no $$$ is not good and you should not let yourself get there because you will be stuck if you dont have $$$. A lot of domestic Violence relationships start out that way and the woman stays because she has no options. I am not saying you will have a D.V. relationship but it just gets dangerous when you are dependant on someone because you arent free tomake your own decisions.

    Answer by kellycali at 1:18 PM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • If he won't hear you out that would send up a red flag... Money should be a shared responsibility. Like my Hubby say's if the money's there then use it... Pay the bills, get the groceries, take care of what needs to be bough, clothes, food, etc... If it's held over your head then thats a sign of a control issue, and your problems go a lot deeper than money... GL

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:40 PM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • I think that you are on the right path by keepig all the recipts. But I also think that you could be more frugal. I have a feed a family of 6 on 400 a month. I don't know how many are in your family. But 150 a weeks seems a little much. My husband pays the bills. I have a budget for the things I need to run the house hold. Its not alot, but I make it work because I know how hard my dh works. And it would be very discouraging to him if I could not make it work. (I have about 500 a month to work with.. but I don't pay the bills).

    Answer by daughteroftruth at 5:50 PM on Apr. 19, 2009