Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Why do I get berated for sharing my stories of postpartum depression?

Okay. So everyone tells me that "everyone goes through the new-mother blues." My case just happened to turn into severe PPD. (Yes, I'm on meds thanks.)

Apparently society expects me to keep quiet about the thoughts I have and how I feel. Why is that? If almost every mother goes through it, why do so many mothers tell me I'm "wrong" for feeling the way I feel?

Strange.

Answer Question
 
caitxrawks

Asked by caitxrawks at 1:57 PM on Apr. 19, 2009 in Just for Fun

Level 17 (3,823 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • I feel for you, No every mom doesn't feel PPD. It is very diffrent than, feeling blue. If you are around ppl who don't see the diffrence then don't surround yourself with those ppl. Talking about it is prob. the safest thing to do (plus Rx'sLOL) You need those around you to know, care and watch for things. So they do need to hear you talk. I am sorry you are affected by these iddiots. Stay stronge, hold your head high, and know you are doing what is right for you and baby.
    Skyler11978

    Answer by Skyler11978 at 2:02 PM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • I don't know, but it doesn't help matters, does it? I don't know if I had ppd, I just always felt depressed. Though depression meds never helped. I think my main issue is bi-polar, and the med I'm for that has help very much. No one should be telling you anything along the lines of 'you shouldn't feel that way'. It makes it worse. Talking about these things should be encouraged, it's helpful to talk and know that you are not alone. But unfortunatly, it may take you some time to find a good support group, not all of them work for everyone. I had a therapist that sucked. She would cancel appts, or she would tell me that I should leave my husband. I never went back.
    Try keeping a diary, write in it every day. Write about how you feel, and what you are doing to work on it. Then you can look back and see how far you have gone with working on it. Keep trying to find a good support system, it will be worth it!
    Buffie95

    Answer by Buffie95 at 2:04 PM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • And you are definatly NOT alone. Please don't take to heart when people berate you.
    Buffie95

    Answer by Buffie95 at 2:05 PM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • I applaud you for sharing your story. To many times we think we need to do everything all by ourselves and be perfect mommys. The truth is, none of us are perfect and we all are so different. We have different needs. I suffer with depression as well and had terrible PPD. Thank you for sharing, keep it up. You have no idea who you may touch. Just one person out of 100 could be helped and it may be a life or death experience for them. KEEP SHARING.
    SusieD250

    Answer by SusieD250 at 2:05 PM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • I think in general some people think their experience represents what everyone goes through. The mom who went through the run of the mill baby blues might read your story and think it's exaggeration or blown out of proportion because they didn't have the same issue.


    People who live in a little box and don't expose themselves to others out in the world who are different from them end up with a very narrow minded way of thinking.

    MAUREEN55

    Answer by MAUREEN55 at 2:07 PM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • My OB thinks I might have a slight bipolar issue. I've never been tested for it or anything but I'm definitely willing to be.
    caitxrawks

    Answer by caitxrawks at 2:08 PM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • I have had depression all my life...
    with first dd after she was born it turned into ppd....second time around...it didnt..

    i dont have medication...because i know nothing will help me...i face it myself...
    and my children make me smile...i am for once in my life....happy...:)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:29 PM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • My pregnacy was planned and I could not have been more happy to be having a little boy. I had a healthy little boy and I was home for a few days with him and my husband and i started feeling horrible. I cried all the time for no reason and my poor husband couldnt do a thing right. I have PPD, and talking about it helped me get through it along with meds. I think depression gets the best of all of us one time or another. Its nothing to be ashamed of. Its something that we cant help.
    beingamomrocks1

    Answer by beingamomrocks1 at 3:01 PM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • I think people do this for a lot of reasons. Many people want to think their experience is the norm, so when they hear otherwise they get upset, whether their experience was a good one, and now they hear that someone else had a bad one, or the other way around.

    Plus, even though it's unfair, there is still a fear of mental health issues in society, and this falls into it. Because people hear ppd, and they think of those women who kill their babies, and that freaks them out and would rather put their heads in the sand, rather than know that those are the minority, and that ppd doesn't mean you're going to do this, and that you can get help for it, and that talking about it can be part of that help. It's that "lalala, I can't hear you, and if I can't hear you, then you can't be saying it, and if you aren't saying it, then it's not real" thing.

    cont
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 3:05 PM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • cont

    Plus, I think there are a lot of women that secretly fear that this could happen to them, or that, but by the grace of God, this could have been them when they had their babies. They don't want to think about that, about how here you are, a "normal, regular person", and you're having this problem. They would rather think it doesn't happen, or that it always happens "to someone else", and they don't know how to respond when confronted with it. Just like they do when someone gets a terminal illness, or finds out someone has been raped, or their child was abused, or etc. They don't want to see that.
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 3:10 PM on Apr. 19, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN